Sunday, December 31, 2017

The Legalization of Marijuana


The legalization of marijuana is over-due.




You can't see it in this video, but I have a hole in my neck. I used to be on a ventilator because I couldn't breathe. I kept the breathing tube for 3 years in my neck after I was taken off the machine. I was told not to be around smoke or risk going back on a machine. Smoking is out.
 
Second, I have a g-tube to get nutrition. I do not swallow. I only consistently swallow my saliva.

In the video, I am holding a medical marijuana lollipop.
 
(Remember, I only swallow saliva right now. Lollipops just flavor the saliva.) Marijuana was legalized in California and is making it's way across the country. Just from this, I foresee a heavy duty cough drop. It would benefit all people, not just medical marijuana users.

I have compared the banning of marijuana to the banning of alcohol during Prohibition. How well did that work? Many OTC liquid medicines have alcohol in them (like liquid Nyquil and Dimetapp). I see no problem in using medical marijuana as an ingredient in commercial medicine.

There's no reason marijuana is withheld from people. There is no reason I should be withheld from people. (I have been. The essays are just shocking.) It all boils down to beliefs, which include prejudices.

Not everyone became an alcoholic when alcohol was legalized. Not everyone will become a pothead with the legalization of marijuana.

Wednesday, December 27, 2017

My Late Recovery


The brain cell may be gone forever, but the action isn't.
 


____________________________________

Excuse me, but I used to be quadriplegic.  I would think that being able to use both hands again after 15 years qualifies as improvement. Talking wasn't good enough for the government program I was in. The doctor couldn't understand me.

Sorry I can't swallow. That is called dysphagia. A stroke can rob swallowing and that's what happened here. An inability to swallow does not mean I'm not conscious or in a coma.

Maybe that's why there aren't any recoveries here. The government seems hellbent on keeping me vegetative. Where was the investigation?


____________________________________


Those late recoveries... Did it ever occur that neurogenesis is happening with neuroplasticity in these cases? I bet it is very rare. This is what it looked like to me.

Neuroplasticty is rewiring. Most have heard of rewiring the brain, but what is neurogenesis?





_____________________________________



 How many 2-month periods have I had
in the last 15 years?

I bet I'm producing more than one neuron each time. 


________________________

2/17/2018
"The brain cell may be gone forever, but the action isn't" probably means a different cell is now doing the moving. If not, I am making ghostly movements. So neuroplasticity occurred. Since there were no other cells available, neurogenesis would also have had to occurred. If not, these are ghostly movements and you are dealing with the supernatural.


Thursday, December 21, 2017

Do I agree with all those theories of consciousness? No.


Do I agree with all those theories of consciousness? No, and here is why. I am unconscious. I know. I am writing this. I couldn't possibly be writing and not be conscious. 

I've garnered attention, after I started writing. I had consciousness long before, but that was like telling people in a mental ward you were not crazy. My diagnosis was "vegetative" so I was vegetative, or not conscious. Now that I am out of a hospital and write, I can write as much as I want. There is no doctor. My case is handled by bureaucrats. If I get sick, I can go to the ER, and I have a local physician for routine medical. I can not get anything out of the ordinary...this includes therapy, rehab, or routine neurology, even though I had brain surgery. I'm able to schedule a one-time appointment with a neurologist, but there is no monitoring. I don't even bother with this one anymore, and put it on my faith of doctor skill.

I posted this video in an on-line support group:


This is just one of the many theories, but a question was asked. "Do you believe all those theories?"

Precious information has now been lost. Nothing was recorded. I'm talking about brain growth. Obviously my brain has grown between now and 15 years ago when I had a severe stroke that killed all my brain but brainstem. Take a scan of my brain now. I'm sure it will show a lot more areas active than just brainstem. That is why I disagree with those theories of consciousness. I am not a theory. Real live breathing tissue holds the answer.

The general answer will be the amount. Somewhere between my brain as it is now and how it was 15 years ago lies the answer to the consciousness problem. That's going to be amount of neurons. You are going to have to have more than just brainstem.

I say information is lost because we didn't know to look at specific areas of the brain. I'm not sure if even such technology exists yet. Sure hindsight is 20/20, but what good is it if the camera hasn't been invented? These structures may only be able to be seen at autopsy. Growth may not have been able to be monitored.

The following video asks some questions that make me wonder. The split brain problem could actually be performed now. If you believe mind is outside the body, you wouldn't get two yous.


Am I me, or am I an imposter of me? I've been saying my consciousness comes from growth. Somehow a new, second, imposter brain is grown? Now that sounds silly. I'm me.

Go back to that first video. It's basically saying the mind is in the loops. These loops can exist inside and outside the body. The loops allow for consciousness.

I've most likely always had loops. Over the years, my number of loops most likely increased. Loops can't currently be measured in humans. What recently was tested on me I question. My ability to swallow was taken by the stroke. Doing what bureaucrats do, they issue an order to test my swallow. I don't swallow, so hence, I am still not conscious.
(Lollipops only mean you can handle your own saliva and that is where I'm currently at.)

Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Refurbished Goods


Get crackalackin 'cause time's awasting. Get moving. 



"How long is this going to take??" It's going on 15 years since my original bleed.

I think it is because I escaped diagnosis the first time. People are like what? It has to do with when I was a child and was a "prodigy." Remember I moved then dropped out? The school psychologist at an elementary school had started something, and I was being tracked each year to high school, but I had left that school district. I then dropped out of school altogether by passing an equivalency test.

NDE means Near Death Experience. I was very near death. I actually crossed that line a few times. My surgery records state I was resuscitated. My mother reports that she was called many times. I personally remember "coding" the last time and wrote about it, http://thoughtfulveg.blogspot.com/2013/04/when-dead-sing.html.

"I believe the NDE can turn on what have been called "undead genes." http://reallifescifi.blogspot.com/2017/10/my-undead-genes-turned-on.html The NDE and Savant Syndrome combination then re-build the information in the cell. All this information, including age-related damage, is taken by the stroke. The stroke actually kills the entire brain cell, not my entire brain. That combo of NDE and Savant Syndrome not only saved my life, but rebuilt it." http://thoughtfulveg.blogspot.com/2017/11/soup.html

No one knows how long this window will stay open. Development seems to mirror child development, but the speed varies and one area may go faster than another. Maybe it will last 25 years, give or take a few years. It could be indefinite, but I doubt I will live that long. I know I wouldn't want this body in this condition. Everything would have to work as it should.

Can we refurbish a person? We are doing organ transplants now. New parts are being grown in the lab. We're headed in the direction of refurbishing a person.

Now my brain may have done it. Science needs to study and see.



Saturday, December 9, 2017

Similarity



Angela Ronson "experienced a rare form of stroke [15] years ago [12/16/2002] while working as a [behavior specialist at mental health]. A congenital malformation of the blood vessels in her brain" leaked. I took the beginning of this article and changed it a bit (just date and job). http://newsinfo.iu.edu/web/page/normal/4481.html

I had the same type of stroke as Jill Bolte Taylor. It's called an AVM Stroke. Mine was more severe. While she was awake and able to experience it, I was not. I lost consciousness and had stopped breathing. My body was put on a respirator. I cannot recount what happened, other than to go through medical records.

There were other similarities. We both studied the brain, but different aspects. I dealt with behavior and knowledge. Even if something was missing, I felt that a skill could still be learned. She knew anatomy really well. That's the big difference between mental and physical health.

We had hemorrhagic strokes. That is a bit different from the type that is taught on TV and other media. A blood vessel bleeds. The familiar stroke is caused by a clogged artery.



 
I actually died, my heart stopped. That's just on top of what she says here,




Similarity most likely ends there. We are different people.
 
____________________________

The AVM in my head bled in 2002 and is called an AVM Stroke. The AVM was removed in an experimental surgery at Stanford University. It had grown back to pre-bleed size. The bleed in 2002 was catastrophic. It killed all brain lobes and left only the brainstem needed to keep the body alive.
 
I'm 15 years out from a stroke now. I wrote this. Did something happen and I now have brain (more than just brainstem)? Or am I just magic?




Tuesday, December 5, 2017

I'm a UFO


I'm a "UFO of neuroscience." (3:20)
 
 
This is long. I got some information from it. It shows that various brain disorders, including brain injury can result in "islands of genius." Genius might not show up on an IQ test.

This slide is at 13:17.

Process after a brain injury that makes a genius.

After there is a brain injury, there is rewiring. Then there is "release of dormant capacity" that is genius.

Doesn't rewiring happen after most brain injuries? Geniuses are rare, but brain injury creating a new talent is more common...and not given any credit. Like it has been said, I smell the cookies before the package is open. That talent wouldn't be very common. It may be that my brain is very good at filling in missing information. It's adding the smell when I see the package. Maybe my nose knows. Whatever the reason, the talent is unrewarded.

Most brain injuries may be getting a talent. They are just not getting the genius targeted by Savant Syndrome.

____________________________


I do not have savant syndrome. While I was in a coma, I was diagnosed to forever be in a coma or vegetative. I did have a brain injury, though, and I am a UFO, so to speak. I am an oddity.








Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Bad Blood


Neural repair was intentionally left out by the government. They did not perform the surgery and refused to acknowledge the university that did, Stanford. There was "bad blood" already there. The surgery is described,  http://thoughtfulveg.blogspot.com/2015/08/avm-bleed.html

There was a "trache" in my neck. This was the tube hooked to the ventilator. I hadn't used this machine in a while. It was obvious I was fine without it and the tube should be removed. The argument from Stanford was the government program better do it or they will! This issue was completely unrelated to neurosurgery. (This was the "bad blood" between them.)
 
Remember, the neurosurgery was already being performed as if I was an indigent. The government refused to do anything with the AVM in my head. I had to be seen at Stanford through the free clinic for people with no insurance.
   
Stanford represented best practices. The government program was what had to be done on a shoestring budget. Animosity may have been local, but it was the same type I had seen in other areas.
 
This quote applies,
 

The government program seldom made changes or allowances. Programs were not curtailed to individual needs. It was a cookie cutter. Everyone got the same thing. A program like Stanford would come along and stand up for one individual. In Stanford's defense, though, they had done it many times for many individuals.

They saw the individual getting trampled.

 
 

Friday, November 24, 2017

Soup


From what I can figure, there was a mixture of factors going on in my medical case. To lump it all together and say I'm in a coma won't work. Obviously; could I write this and have deductive thinking if I was in a coma? I'll elaborate on a post, "This is a biological issue that I think savant syndrome helped cause. A stroke isn't enough to wipe out cell info. Something had to be present to reprogram. It doesn't stop there. The NDE turns on the learning window- the "undead" genes." I then link to a story on undead genes. https://reallifescifi.blogspot.com/2017/10/my-undead-genes-turned-on.html

First of all, I just didn't have a stroke all alone. If the entire ordeal was just a single brain injury, I would have died soon after I stopped breathing. I never would have been taken down the mountains. I never would have been flown to a trauma center.

Second, Savant Syndrome has to be present PRIOR to any head injury. I'm writing this that's proof that it is there. I say Savant Syndrome had to already be present. I believe the syndrome actually kept my body alive for hours until it was brought to a trauma center. It's responsible for me waking up and waking up fast. 5 weeks doesn't sound fast, but 5 weeks to open my eyes compared to never is very fast. Signs of Savant Syndrome can be traced back to my childhood. I was found to be extremely intelligent at this time, but still within Advanced Placement.

Now I had a brain injury. My memory is completely wiped out (at the time of incident and not now). Determining an NDE occurred would have to be made by a professional used to having non-verbal and limited speaking clients. Now I could speak some by the time I met Dr Morse, but I didn't remember any NDE. I have little memory of the day I had the stroke before I lost consciousness. I only remember the sound of an alarm while my eyes were closed (the ventilator). I only remember "seeing" the pastor of my church immediately after initial surgery. (Technically, this would not have been possible for me.)

I believe the NDE can turn on what have been called "undead genes." The NDE and Savant Syndrome combination then re-build the information in the cell. All this information, including age-related damage, is taken by the stroke. The stroke actually kills the entire brain cell, not my entire brain. That combo of NDE and Savant Syndrome not only saved my life, but rebuilt it.


Living a longer life would be a side-effect of the 
repair of my injury.

The NDE makes an environment conducive for learning by turning on the "undead genes." It opens the learning window. This is where a new, blank cell would be made. Savant Syndrome is then able to go to work and rebuild the information in the new cell with the old cell DNA. This reprogramming is like we saw in the movie Jurassic Park, but man provides a new cell and the DNA is millions of years old in the movie.



I am a soup of neurons and genes. Not just one factor can determine the entire injury I had. The recipe saved my life. If you only have the "S", you can't label it. "SO" I open my eyes. You look a little silly calling it "S". Now other factors turn "UP". You really look silly calling soup "S".

Somebody really looks silly saying I'm still in a coma.

Sunday, November 19, 2017

Where I Went


I shared a photo the other day of a doctor I had 14 years ago. My bleed was 15 years ago. This was the first place I went to after I had a brain bleed, my AVM stroke. It was a private rehab at a county hospital.


I spent a great deal longer there than government insurance would cover. As far as I know this program doesn't accept government insurance. I kept my work insurance after discharge under a little used ruling called COBRA. This is probably the first clue I had all my faculties plus more. Not many people are aware of the ruling.

The place I went to is a top notch brain rehabilitation program in California. I credit a lot of what you see today to them. They laid the foundation of which later skills are built on. The skill you see today may not have been there yet while I was there, but the building blocks were.



This is the first time I left a hospital for a few hours. 
It was that rehab. You can see the tube in my neck 
that would later be hooked to a ventilator.
On later thought, not many can be unhooked from a ventilator.



My post:
Hey! I haven't seen a pic of her in a long time. The 3rd from left is [my doctor back then]. She was my doctor there 14yrs ago.
I went to this rehab with my prvt work ins. When the ins ran out I became govt n moved many times. The govt ruled me not conscious n vegetative. I was not to get rehab.
I wasn't talking or typing yet, so it had to be a trip for [people at that rehab] to hear from me.
I left a govt program in 2006. I kept getting told I'd die before 40. I'll soon be 48.
They, Valley Medical Center Rehabilitation knew something was up, tho. They suspected Locked-In Syndrome back then. It prolly was. So many now said it most likely is the case n my typing is me coming out.
The govt still has me listed as vegetative! Not only no rehab, but no neuro either. Neuro is only consult to a hospital. I'm not in a hospital.
_______________________________________

I didn't stay in the rehab because my insurance ran out. I had reached my cap. (Currently, this can't  happen. It depends on politics.) I became Medi-Cal in California. This is the national Medicaid program.

I moved many times. I'd say this was due to lack of case management. I'd be put in a program. After there for a bit, the program administrators saw that I didn't fit the program and I'd have to move. A case manager would match the fit before any person is sent. My paperwork is also an issue. According to that paperwork, I am unconscious. Imagine staff surprise when they find out that I'm not, http://thoughtfulveg.blogspot.com/2012/02/a-special-kind-of-stupid.html

Government placement kept saying I would die soon. Now that I think about it, what were they basing this assumption on? The CDC mean is 78.8 years before death. At the last hospital in that lengthy stay, a doctor said to a nurse right in front of me, "She won't make it to 40." Did that doctor mean I'd die if I remained in care? There will be no argument from me if that was the reason. I already had one hospital super bug that nearly claimed me. I don't think this was what that doctor meant when he said that, though. This is completely contradictory.... The hospital staff thought that I'd die from an AVM bleed, but they removed the stitches from the experimental surgery that removed it.

That is a dead body in the top left corner.
My roommate had died. 
I got used to death being nearby.


To believe I would die from something not there was due to poor record keeping. I can only say, 'Get off your high horse! You didn't perform the surgery, so it never happened? You refused to note it? Now there are even bigger problems."

True life expectancy was never addressed. I have made the only attempt, http://thoughtfulveg.blogspot.com/2017/01/new-estimated-lifespan.html
What if the following happened, "I was thinking that the way I believe neurogenesis was started may have possibly set up a never-ending cycle"? http://thoughtfulveg.blogspot.com/2017/06/sparking-imagination.html This should be addressed.

Not much could be done for me if some freak accident gave me immortality. (Longevity is more likely, but imagination doesn't hurt.) A heads up could be given to scientists in the field of longevity. Who said this couldn't be cross-disciplined? I am the writer here, and I can notify whoever I want.


11-20-2017
There is definitely something wrong with life-expectancy. The govt was saying 40 before I left. I'll be 48 in Jan. The AVM was removed, so go back to the CDC estimate of 78.8, right? Well no if a stroke is the event that cleans damage of age left in cells. Take the CDC avg and add my age at time of stroke.
 

Sunday, November 12, 2017

It's How You Use Your Memory


"Knowing HOW to access information is more important than memorization. The computer can hold the facts, but you hold the computer." http://thoughtfulveg.blogspot.com/2016/03/making-it-fit.html

The following was posted in an on-line group. Eben Alexander III is an author and neurosurgeon. Dr Alexander writes, "Memory is not even located in the physical brain, but accessed through it (as is fundamental consciousness itself). Neurosurgeons have suspected this for decades -- it is the giant white elephant in the room. All of those neocortical resections and never an ounce of disappearance of memory. Damage to hippocampus merely prevents conversion of short term to long term memory. Never has any such ablation/resection resulted in loss of definable memories. Failure to locate memory in the brain is one of the final nails in the coffin of reductive materialist neuroscience -- all this and much more explained in our new book, Living in a Mindful Universe (Rodale Books, 2017), co-authored with Karen Newell."

Now I think I'd have to have some memory, or I'd be reaching for a dictionary to spell every word I write. I'm going with the fact that I have brain cells. http://thoughtfulveg.blogspot.com/2017/04/a-postulate.html The government has me labeled as a vegetable and therefore I don't have brain cells for thinking. I only have brainstem for my heart and lungs.


We are capable of performing amazing feats, but I'd rather look up a phone number, than memorize an entire phone book. In this way, I only have to remember how to use a telephone book.

This becomes the reasoning to develop writing. If not, we go back to the beginning of civilization and depend on oral stories to be passed down. "Without writing the flow of ideas halted shortly beyond the source. The importance of writing stems from the fact that writing is the primary basis upon which communication, history, record keeping, and art is begun." http://home.utah.edu/~u0404503/PDF/School/Power%20Points/why_writing_is_so_important.pdf

The human accesses memory in this way.  Memory becomes a tool for use.




Tuesday, November 7, 2017

My Coma Is Fake News


I was looking at the context of my story being on this radio program...


I and an essay I sent in are discussed. They talk about me 8 minutes in. Then it goes on into a professor giving information on reliable news and sources. The Pro-Truth Pledge is talked about and encouraged.

It sounds like my coma was fake news.

[12/7/2017  The essay, and I link to the show with Jon Sarkin, Re: Imaginel A World Without Rhetorical Questions.]
 ________________________________


Saying my coma is "fake news" does not negate the letter stating "We are sorry to learn that you are currently in what could be considered a "semi-vegetative" state that has significantly affected your ability to speak, write, and perform other tasks." Right above that it is made clear that is a coma, "persistent vegetative state, sometimes referred to as coma."

That letter has been copied and forwarded many times. I will put it for others below. "Kicking yourself" is what that agency is doing right now. Obviously, I am not in a coma.

I want to note, I was only saying vegetative until I got this letter. I did not know I was in a coma. There are other good things in that letter, but it got off on the wrong foot. "Coma" may not have needed to be in there at all. Most people would see that and toss the letter in the trash.

If my coma is fake news, is that letter fake? I want a neurologist and annual appointments back-dated to 2006. I also want rehab. What about the tube left in my stomach? I need swallow therapy because the GI Specialist wanted to take the G-tube out two years ago.

Fake, my foot! There's nothing fake about this.

_______________________________________

05/09/14 at 9:46 AM
Dear Ms. Ronson:
We are responding to your email to the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke (NINDS) concerning persistent vegetative state, sometimes referred to as coma. 
We are sorry to learn that you are currently in what could be considered a "semi-vegetative" state that has significantly affected your ability to speak, write, and perform other tasks.  You explained that your condition was expected to decline, but that you have slowly gotten better.  We can certainly understand your desire to share your blog with others and seek advice about your case.  As a biomedical research funding agency, the NINDS cannot provide people with personal, case-specific advice about a medical condition.  However, we can provide general information about neurological disorders and direct you to other possible sources of assistance.  If you are seeking a neurologist, the resources in the "Additional Information" section at the end of this message may be helpful.
The NINDS has online information that provides an overview of coma and summarizes the Institute's research in this field.  You can access this information at the following website:  http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/coma/coma.htm. The following section lists voluntary health agencies that provide services to those affected by coma:  http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/coma/org_coma.htm. Such organizations often prepare newsletters with stories that inform and inspire others who are coping with conditions such as yours.  They may be interested in learning about your experiences. 
In addition, you may wish to visit the MedlinePlus website offered by the National Library of Medicine (NLM).  The site is designed to assist people in identifying resources that will help them with their health concerns or questions.  Resources on coma are provided at http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/coma.html.
For citations to research articles, you may wish to search PubMed, which provides free access to an online bibliographic database of published biomedical literature from the NLM.  You can access PubMed at http://www.pubmed.gov. The search strategies "coma AND review" and "persistent vegetative state AND review" are possible starting points to find articles.  Some articles are available free of charge online; if so, the citation will indicate that.  Otherwise, to obtain copies of any articles identified by your search, you may need the assistance of a librarian at the nearest university or medical library.  Alternatively, the NLM offers a service called Loansome Doc that allows PubMed users to order a copy of any article they locate in the database directly from the Internet. 
Finally, you may be interested in learning about research studies at the National Institutes of Health (NIH) or in your area.  The "NIH Clinical Research Trials and You" website at http://www.nih.gov/health/clinicaltrials is a good starting point.  The site offers resources for people interested in volunteering for a study, including questions to help determine the potential risks and benefits of participating in a trial.  The site provides a link to ClinicalTrials.gov (http://www.clinicaltrials.gov/), an NIH database that has information about federally and privately funded clinical research studies on a wide range of diseases and conditions.  You can search the database to learn about research studies in need of participants, as well as their location, purpose, and criteria for patient participation.  Tips for searching ClinicalTrials.gov are provided at http://www.nih.gov/health/clinicaltrials/CTgovSearchTips.htm. The site also includes a link to ResearchMatch, an NIH-funded registry to help connect volunteers with researchers who are in need of study participants:  https://www.researchmatch.org/.
We hope this information is helpful.
Office of Communications and Public Liaison
National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke
ADDITIONAL INFORMATION
Finding a Specialist
Voluntary health agencies focused on the disease or disorder that concerns you may be able to direct you to specialists in the United States.  A list of approximately 300 national non-profit health organizations concerned with neurological conditions can be found at this NINDS site:  http://www.ninds.nih.gov/find_people/voluntary_orgs/organizations_index.htm.
You may also wish to contact the department of neurology at a teaching hospital--that is, a hospital affiliated with a medical school--to obtain possible referrals to specialists.  You can find a list of teaching hospitals in the United States at the following Association of American Medical Colleges website:  https://members.aamc.org/eweb/DynamicPage.aspx?site=AAMC&webcode=AAMCOrgSearchResult&orgtype=Hospital/Health%20System.
Another option would be to visit the National Library of Medicine's MedlinePlus website, which offers a variety of resources to help people with their health questions.  This MedlinePlus site has information about choosing a physician or health care service:  http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/choosingadoctororhealthcareservice.html. The following site includes links to directories or listings that may help you locate specialists:  http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/directories.html. If you click on "Find a Neurologist," you will be prompted with a search box that will allow you to select a particular state.   
4-14-14


Saturday, November 4, 2017

A Psych Classifying Herself?




I don’t and I refuse to. I’ll leave that up to someone else. Which means doctors are screwed. This is why… While I was in coma- closed eye, then open, I was given Persistent Vegetative State. A bit later, I am communicating with the doctor by blinking for "yes/no." They already said I was vegetative and had submitted forms. I was made vegetative, and a payee paid my bills. Communicating with the doctor in this way was Minimally Conscious State (MCS) and I was most likely Locked-In.

I understood what was told to me, but it was difficult to give any response at all, even blinking. I have a BA in psychology. This area was covered. I was familiar with terms. More amazing. I have an MA in Special Education from San Francisco State University. I specialized in neurologically impaired infants.

I knew what a brain bleed was. I knew what lobes of the brain were. I knew that when a bleed as bad as mine kills off all the cells in all four lobes that I shouldn't be understanding. I knew I was dying. I couldn't respond. I figured I'd die soon. 

The payee was late. Doctors didn’t get their money. They screwed themselves. I could blink to family members to pay doctor bills. They managed to drop the payee, so I could pay bills, but I’m left vegetative. I should have been diagnosed Locked-In Syndrome. I am flat-out in a stone-cold coma between the first and second hospitals. You don't diagnose that at that time. The blinking came a bit later at the second hospital. I get stuck with "vegetative".

Years later I’m still "vegetative". I now talk. My diagnosis should be quadriplegia with some movement. I answer tons of questions like this one. I am no where near short of knowledge. My cognition is not compromised.
   
My diagnosis can’t be changed. The diagnosis became permanent after 3 months. Now research can’t be done. You can’t get consent from a not conscious person. People in comas don't get much of anything. They don't ask for anything. Vegetative probably isn't coma, but it is classified that way.
  
I’ve pretty much always disagreed with how a diagnosis becomes a label. This is that MA in Special Education. I see the diagnosis as a starting point and you grow from it. This means it can change. I’m not vegetative anymore.




Saturday, October 28, 2017

Just Like So Many Times Before


I made a playlist. Tom Petty  recently died, and I was making a tribute to him.

The song I start with wasn't even his, but he sings in it during this particular performance. It fits the occasion. The song belongs to Bob Dylan, but I was always comparing the two. If I was asked who Tom Petty was, I'd say he was the Bob Dylan of the '80's. They both were popular. They both had a nasal quality to their vocals, and sometimes sounded like they were pushing the words out. They both did Rock.






I was listening to this particular video. Tom Petty is with Bob Dylan. The lines "like so many times before" and at "heaven's door" filled my head with memories.

 
I "coded" or flat-lined a lot after my stroke. I was in care almost 4 years. I'd say the word 'coded' because I felt it was related to my breathing, not my heart. I had a tracheostomy and was suctioned quite often to clear my airway. 
 
Now that I think about it, that was how that chicken died. The eyedropper used to suction Mike the Headless Chicken was lost. Mike couldn't breathe and died.


You can live without a brain, if you are suctioned.


"Like so many times before," I flat-lined, "coded", or died. Say it however you like.





Hey, they both played guitar and harmonica! (Dylan is still alive and influencing culture.)


Here's the list, 




Wednesday, October 25, 2017

Re: Imagine A World Without Rhetorical Questions



Wikileaks on Weed Podcast:
28 years ago in Gloucester, a "normal, everyday" chiropractor named Jon Sarkin suffered a massive stroke. After spending weeks in a coma, he awoke a changed man, with a compulsion to simply create art. Art very much unlike anything else out there. Even though language is often inadequate in describing such things, Crunch Dog and Larry invited Jon on the porch anyway. He walks us through his philosophy, the stories of his life story option purchase from Tom Cruise's production company, and we even get to play a game or two. We hope you enjoy this conversation as much as we did.


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I'm full of stories. That can happen when something that "sounds" devastating happens. It should have been, but I'm still here.

I'm the only not conscious person I know that writes. When the topic of FREE SPEECH came up, I perked up my ears. My writing is part of this world, but I am not. Trip on that! My writing is covered by the First Amendment. I'll talk about some touchy subjects, but mostly my consciousness. I'm not conscious, by diagnosis. I had a terrible stroke, that shouldn't have been recoverable. I'm here, though.

I write about what I think. Jon paints or draws about it. It isn't about how you get it out, but that you do. I didn't have use of my hands when this started. I now have one finger. So I write. That's how I get it out.

I wanted to hear Jon's thoughts on topics. You can do that in the podcast. I found the stuff on Hollywood funny. I'm from Northern California. The lack of ethics wears off by the time you get here, but appearances don't. People will think, 'Damn, she looks good for being so disabled.' You can't tell until I open my mouth. You hear it if I try to speak. I used to not be able to, so there's huge accomplishment. Seeing is first, though. I want to make a good impression, especially if I'm going to represent persons who are disabled.

Yes, bad things can happen to good people. It's how you handle it. It is possible to still be successful.


https://www.jsarkin.com/