Sunday, July 8, 2018

A Resilient Child Grows To Have Grit


My mother, Myra P Metz was a major contributor to this.
 - Angela 




Back in 2004, after the craniotomy at Stanford, the neurosurgeon told me to now expect my usual brain development. Big smiles from me. I knew it wasn't usual. My  mother can tell you about my development. I'll just let you know I remember giving instructions on how to get home from my car seat.

"...you had a foot that was more dominant and one foot that turned and dragged. You had to have a special shoe." It goes on. "Also your eyes didn't focus well and one eye drifted. You also used to bang your head on the wall purposely which is kind of autistic-like."

"You were very early with using language and making the connection for abstract symbols and language. Your memory was like photo imagery."

"One thing you had very little of was patience.  You were always obsessed with how things worked and you used to dismantle things in the house to see how they worked. I think you were the one who took apart the window crank opener when you were two by climbing up on the dresser."

I remembered taking things apart.



I loved this show as a kid. He'd use parts of things.


I had a pink transistor radio like in the image. I would regularly take it apart.




When I was 18 I got an old car, a '68 Chrysler convertible. This thing was huge! You could probably seat a family of 5 in the front seat alone, although there were only three seatbelts. I'd take this thing apart and put it back together. I can rebuild a carburetor, but that's a lost skill now.

"There was another thing I just remembered from your early development. You never crawled." I'll have to check on  this issue, but never thought about affects.

"Most babies go through that stage where they get up on their knees and propel their torsos back and forth, but you never did that. You would lay on your tummy and it looked like you were swimming but never got anywhere. To get someplace you would roll your body. Then you would pull yourself up once you got to a spot where you could hold onto something. You took off walking at 12 months, but you never went through a crawling stage which I understand is very important in the development of other body and brain functions."


From what I remember, crawling is important for reading. I was an early reader. I must have got the skill to read across the page elsewhere. I'm thinking music gave me this skill. I could read music first. It's okay to get skills elsewhere.
 ________________________

The description of the child sounds like brain compromise. Knowing I had that AVM, it probably bled in early childhood. Here is the first brain injury.

I did very well. I did extremely well! I started playing piano! I was a resilient child.

My Talent
(click)




Wednesday, July 4, 2018

A One-Man Show


All I can say to researchers and scientists is don't get yourself in trouble. If you depend on govt funding, then don't jeopardize that. I already have a diagnosis, Semi-Vegetative. I and others know this is wrong. Let it stand. As time goes on this looks like a foolish decision. Time will take care of this.

 

Damn, I have a lot of the same qualities as Tammet (the man in the videos below)! Things like this will make you question what's going on.

 -Angela 
_______________________________


I don't perform a 1-man savant show either.



About this person: "He is unusual not just because of his lucid writing style and his ability to analyze his own thoughts and behavior," but  he also has a rare disorder. https://www.nytimes.com/2007/02/15/garden/15savant.html



___________________________

I bet being forthcoming comes from the NDE and the severity of the injury I had.


This movie has sub-titles.

The following is a list of changes due to the NDE:

The Transformation
1. Death is joyous, safe, comfortable. a continuation, not to be feared.
2. Change in profession or job
3. Greater spiritual outlook on life
4. Increased risk taking
5.  Greater "zest for living". Life is for living, the "light" is for later.
6.  Greater appreciation of the daily struggles of ordinary life.
7.  Sense of meaning, even in the most mundane aspects of life.
8. Divorce is common.
9. Greater sensitivity to emotions, feelings, lessons of love.
10. Increased time spent with family, friends, social activities
11. Greater contributions to charity, volunteer service.
12. Decreased over the counter and illicit drug use.
13. More loving, caring for others.
14. More likely to be in a helping or service oriented profession.
15. Can be more resilient emotionally, take more emotional risks as transformation permits accelerated healing.
16. Become religious or spiritual leaders especially after Hellish experiences.

I originally got this list off Dr Morse's website, but I have used it. I am more helping, or #14. You will also see #11 in that I freely volunteer info. I have many of these changes.

I believe that in a video that I saw, a child described his parent as a much nicer person. That I am. I think the word is "wiser", though. I was already nice.

I had lots of time to think. I wanted a way to get all my knowledge out. If I was going to die, it wouldn't be learning for waste. I thought about how to get it out.          

You get this.
___________________________


I gave up on math in the 10th grade. I was taking trigonometry. I remember going to regional Math Super Bowls in grade school. Teachers saw amazing math ability back then. I would have tried this math thing back then.



Don't go looking for it now. I said I gave it up long ago. What's still there may be higher than average, but it's not amazing.

It's concepts for me now...and they have to be meaningful. I see math as an important tool to have, but it won't get all the answers.

The answer is not 42.






Thursday, June 28, 2018

Take Heed






"The govt spent more money on 4yrs of hospital care than if it had been 4yrs in a nursing home in the community."

This is true. For years there has been a push nationwide for de-hospitalization of the disabled to community care. The numbers are there. Look them up.

"Keeping me in the hospital meant keeping me out of the community so u wouldn't hear about me."

Whether or not if intent was there, this happened. Information was kept from the public. If a hospital was the least restrictive environment, then the public should have been informed. I should have been informed. Decisions were kept in secret.



No person can say the US keeps info from you. They did, and are still trying to. I am still vegetative. I write and publish this of my own volition... in a blog which has separate legislation. I am obviously out of care or this wouldn't happen.

"Volition" is a funny word. Who would use it? I guess I would. I guess I have free will. (All free will naysayers take heed.) It's going to be difficult to continue saying I'm not conscious.


Click






Monday, June 25, 2018

Touchy Subject

My diagnosis is Semi-Vegetative. It's never heard of n I write.   -Angela
 


People are still up in arms about the Teri Schiavo case. So I'll go one back. Who remembers Karen Ann Quinlan?



I was a  little kid, but I remember the warning. Don't do drugs, or end up like that Quinlan girl!



This video talks about guardianship. Guardianship is where a big mess up occurred with me. Keep that in mind. I will come back to it as the issue now has the potential to surface.

After I opened my eyes, I didn't speak or move. I looked like how Teri Schiavo was. I was made Persistent Vegetative State. This is just an extension of the coma.



So I progressed from a closed-eye coma to an open-eye coma to whatever I am now. Is now a coma that talks?

It seems to be political. The word "vegetative" has to be kept. That word is basically a coma.

I went to a rehab after I opened my eyes using my work insurance. I think they wanted to say I had Locked-In Syndrome. I was not Vegetative. I had to leave when my insurance ran out.

Before vocalizing, I too communicated with one eye. 
"The last time I saw Margaret Worthen was in November 2012. She was in New York participating in a study of patients with severe brain injury. As soon as I walked into her room, I knew something had changed. She was still immobile, but she noticed my presence, was more attentive and engaged. And there was something else: She at times was able to use her left eye to answer simple yes or no questions. That morning, she seemed to relish her new found fluency. She responded with verve, as if the determined downward swoop of her eye could signal an exclamation point." https://www.nytimes.com/2017/08/24/opinion/minimally-conscious-brain-civil-rights.html?smid=tw-share

This woman was reclassified from PVS, Persistent Vegetative State, to MCS, Minimally Conscious State. 

What happened in that woman's case never happened in mine. I can go straight from Vegetative to Conscious. I don't appear to be vegetative anything now, unless you use the government's reason of being unable to swallow.
___________________________

Now we go back to guardianship. When I was in a closed-eye coma, a payee was appointed. They were eventually dismissed, but my diagnosis wasn't changed. I was still a vegetable. I was made a vegetable that was able to handle money. (This just screams Locked-In Syndrome.)

I left hospital life. That was Dec 2002 - March 2006, but it's just easier to say 4 years. I know it is 3 years and 4 months. I was moved around so much that I'd have to give an itinerary.

I've gone on to start writing. That sounds uneventful and it should. I have a big problem now. I'm not a legal entity. That's why I can't be studied... I can't give consent while in a coma. There is no guardian.

What do I do if my story is picked up? Decline because I can't give consent is not an option here. Watch me think of something.

Thursday, June 21, 2018

You Only Had One Job


All the government had to do was observation and documentation. Instead, they have tried to cover-up that anything ever happened.



The government is in control. It will control what it can. It's in a completely different mode of thinking. It doesn't think in terms of research. No, it's categorize and file away. That leaves school and church to give answers. Science in schools is diminishing and religion is less and less.



So the "gap" in my case was 15 years ago. You have to watch the video to see what a gap is. A gap is something inexplicable by science. It's easy to say God is the reason.


15 years ago it was easy to say that I was alive because of God.

I'm still alive.

15 years ago, the reason why I'd immediately would die was removed. This allowed my brain the chance to be in a healthy, safe environment. It wasn't going to be hit with another bleed.



________________________

Now we get into theory. I believe 2 principles are going on. First, all damage was wiped out. Second, the speed at which this "recovery" occurred and that I can write about it.

The first is a biological theory. I've seen video of Aubrey de Grey discussing it, in the area of Longevity, or aging.



Basically, age is damage that accumulates. If you want to erase age, then erase all the damage.

This particular type of stroke would have done that - erase everything. Go back and look at the medical records. I was dying. I was placed on artificial breathing, a ventilator. At one point, my heart even stopped.

I've seen evidence of this theory in my youthful appearance. I don't know how long this will last, but I have documented this.

As for dying any time in the near future, it looks doubtful.

If everything was wiped out, how am I still alive and able to communicate? That's where the second theory/disorder comes in.




This second condition is recognized by the media, but it is not a listed condition in a manual of disorders. To say someone has it would just be saying, despite any evidence.

I have evidence, though.

I'm either savant or very smart. The savant has incredible neuroplasticity. "Savant syndrome, both in the congenital and acquired types, provides compelling evidence of remarkable brain plasticity." http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2677584/  I continually have made progress. I have never "plateaued" as the therapists say, or my condition never reached no improvement.

At first I thought I must be hyper-plastic, or overly neuroplastic.



I have been "reprogramming" cells at an alarming rate. I can only say reprogramming as that is a guess. It has been too much time for recovery of old behaviors. I do have old memories, though. That would coincide with reprogramming from old blueprints. 

I say an "alarming rate", but it appears slow. There have been only a couple of cases where speech returned late after a brain injury. (These people were MCS, not the more disabled PVS.) On average, 20 years can be expected. How long does the typical child stay with it's parents? Countries vary, but the US education system uses 18-22 years as it's age of exit. I started writing in half the time. It sounds and feels long because we are now using years.

I'm extremely smart. That has always been the case. You get this, me communicating through literature. There is evidence. All documentation, or what little, comes from the brain injured person of interest, not who was intended. Research is poorly done.

Instead of drawing pictures, I am writing stories. No one has attempted to explain that.





Monday, June 11, 2018

Giving Credit


I only exist because of Stanford University and Hospital (now, not since birth). If it had been left to traditional means, I'd be dead now. Traditional meant leave the AVM that was in my head and treat my symptoms with medications. No matter how you look at it, I'd be dead right now if that blood clot was left in my brain. Doctors at Stanford University and Hospital removed it.

I was shot with that laser a couple of times before AVM removal, and yes, each time was out-patient. I was residing at a completely different location. I was moved to a different hospital while I had a final brain surgery at Stanford.




Whatever happened with my brain started before I went to Stanford. At that time of Stanford's surgery, I appeared MCS. When I first had the bleed, I was left in an eyes-closed coma. I appeared PVS. I got some movement back in the months following me opening my eyes. When I went to Stanford, I was vocalizing. I wasn't speaking like I do now. I did not type at all. I wasn't expected to survive as the government saw it, so "Vegetative" was kept.

That surgery I had allowed my skills to continue to develop. What you see happening in me has never been seen to happen before. Frankly, anyone else who had a bleeding AVM was dead.

If my writing sounds boastful, I'd say that sounds typical from a teenager. My bleed was 16 years ago. Look into that.

The government should have acknowledged that Stanford even performed a surgery. Right now, it's being left to a miracle and faith got rid of a physical deformity. There was a physical surgery. Any faith is outside that. (To go many years without follow-up has required me to have faith in the doctor's skill, not a religion.)




Standford is now in the "I told you so" position. They have the upper hand in this.

Friday, June 8, 2018

Unfinished Nomination

In my e-mail...
  
WEGO Profile 
I received an "Almost" nomination. Maybe the process was too involved. So I did a nominate myself.

Choose an award. They have tons. You can nominate more than once so you can do all the ones you like. I did Best in Show, Blog, which is the second award in the second row,  but the order changes with log-in. Under name, fill in Angela Ronson, and then username I used my e-mail, angelar70@att.net

The category is Brain Health in interests.  My blog url is
I put as a reason is that the blog is very clear. You can get creative in this section.

CLICK CONTINUE. Sign-in and submit.

Other patient leaders may use this. Just copy and paste the url. Be sure to add your name and e-mail.



https://awards.wegohealth.com/nominees/12362#_=_