Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Communicating With the Dead

Even if my diagnosis is not changed, I will not seek change through court order. Why? Think about this for a minute... Communicating with the dead is big business. That diagnosis has me as severely brain impaired. I was brain dead. People can now communicate with me. That's communicating with the brain dead.

If my diagnosis is changed, I was brain impaired by diagnosis. There's no changing that. 

I started working on my Near Death Experience (NDE) years ago. I've already made the necessary contacts.  You can't change that I was very near death. That diagnosis just leaves me there.

Very clear are these posts. A hallmark of the NDE is clear thinking. The NDE is a big area of research. "CONCLUSIONS: The mystical consciousness and higher mental activity during NDEs, when the brain is severely impaired, challenge current models of brain/mind interaction and may occasionally lead to more complete models for the understanding of consciousness."

I don't have much to report during my initial stages of brain injury, but I have tons in the latter. This essay is in the latter. By reading this, you, the reader, are communicating with a severely brain impaired person.

A person who communicates with the dead:

It is odd, but I have a lot of those attributes now.

Changing my diagnosis won't make much difference to me. It does to researchers here in the medical field. I'm in a coma by current definition. The vegetative state was made a coma. I am vegetative. That means I am not conscious. I can't give consent to be studied. Services to the vegetative are drastically cut. Besides no therapy is no research.

I will go forward in NDE. The life-style isn't too shabby.  I've already been talked about in a different on-line radio program. There will be more.

I know I'm mentioned in this at 7:16. My name is also at the beginning on the second page at a few seconds in:

I'm not looking out for me regarding this change. I'm already taken care of. No, I am looking out for the scientists, researchers, and survivors of brain injury. A researcher once commented on my selfless disposition. I believe that quality can be attributed to the NDE. It may be number 13 of  "13. More loving, caring for others." It may be because I am still brain impaired. Maybe I am gullible. Whatever the reason, people can communicate with a real live once brain dead person! Like I said, I may charge an entrance fee to my house.

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

No Phone Number

FYI, Amazon doesn't have a customer service phone number. After much frustration with their website, I did a search for their phone number. (By the way speech, if you want a consumer to talk, have Amazon lose their order.)

I searched their number. After more pages and clicking "No" to DID THIS INFORMATION HELP, it gave me a page to enter MY phone number. I did. Soon my phone rang.

I told my problem. The customer service person said we had a bad connection. (Damn speech!) I cleared my throat and did it again.

She refunded my order and gave me a $20 store credit. $20 was my time and frustration. All that time was spent looking for their phone number!

A person who had a serious injury has to go on and live. I passed the test of Amazon customer service and got a refund and a credit. If customer service can understand me, why can't the government?


Saturday, February 4, 2017

Confirming My Existence

This gets hard. If a person puts in my social security number, he or she is told that all I say is not possible. The person with that number is unconscious.

The best that can be done is to contact Neuroscience News because they have done all this footwork just trying to get me medical services, or to contact the original reporter who wrote for the local newspaper on me.
[The reporter, Mike Tharp, and the music therapist, David Snellbacher, both have Facebook accounts and have been contacted through here. Click their names for links to their accounts.]

I don't think much has happened in the area of regaining consciousness since this featured patient died:

This man was in care. He was easily verified through the nursing home. That can't happen with me. (This is terrible, because if any other patient makes it out of care, that person dies at home and no one knows. That actually happened to a girl that was at the hospital I was last at.) I'm currently not in care anymore. I was for 4 years. [I think this is another clue, because you just don't easily get out of supervised medical care.]

It is very unusual that I write. It's also unusual that I can do my own medical care. It's unusual I have so much scientific knowledge. Then there's digging in my past...I played piano at an early age. I took advanced placement classes. I left high school at 16 and had a BA at 19. (Medical professionals are now going to say savant syndrome.)

Here's a big problem. I am unconscious. Savant syndrome can't be looked at. [For doctors who want to give me that, I would have to be diagnosed conscious first.] There will be legal problems with changing my diagnosis. There will be legal problems for not changing my diagnosis. Damned if you do, and damned if you don't. Choose the lesser evil? How about, 'just go with the truth.'

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

What's So Special?

Why would a doctor do this? What happened? 

I had a stroke. I had a really bad stroke. It was so bad that most wouldn't survive. I'm not sure if anyone has survived the following description...


On determining brain death, 3i of reads, "Examination of the patient-absence of spontaneous movement, decerebrate or decorticate posturing, seizures, shivering, response to verbal stimuli, and response to noxious stimuli administered through a cranial nerve path way."

From that description, I am dead.

The word  'decerebrate' stands out to me. It's used in some circles as a term for brain-dead.


1. to eliminate cerebral function by transection of the brainstem or ligation of the common carotid arteries and basilar artery at the center of the pons.

Now this gets funny to me. Do I appear to be dead? Um...I want a second opinion.

I was only mostly dead, though. I didn't have any miracle workers or magic pills. I did it all on my own.

Of the countless near death experiences, how many of them have actual medical reports purporting brain death? That's what's so special. I am brain dead. To make it even more amazing, you get what came with me before...high intelligence and memory. So a brain-dead person is writing to you. I am having a very hard time getting my diagnosis changed because 'no one comes back from death.'

I can't get a second opinion because the first one was written in permanent ink. All I can say to all of this is, "I was never all the way dead!"

Monday, January 23, 2017

New Estimated Lifespan

*Note- This won't happen with all strokes. Only strokes where brain cells are killed n then rejuvenation (neurogenesis). It is this rejuvenation that is controversial in me. They say it's not possible and I am still in a coma. Well, you be the judge. Am I in a coma?

Some of you may buy refurbished goods. I say it's the way to go with some electronics. Refurbished is the same old outside, but new inside. Some electronics are sold at a used price, but with a warranty. 

So here's how the math goes regarding my cells and life expectancy. I was 32 years old at the time of my stroke. It was a severe enough stroke to kill the brain cells affected. All lobes were affected but brainstem and spinal cord. While the unaffected area keeps me alive, Adult Stem cells I say my body released, go to work on repairing/replacing the damaged part. 

These new cells have an expected life span of 78.8 years. I use the CDC rate. Other sites have it higher. Now if you take 78.8 years and add the 32 I already lived, you get a lifespan of 110.8 years.

That might be why I don't have gray hair or wrinkles yet. I will get them. They were just delayed.

I just turned 47. I do not have gray hair or wrinkles. I had a severe stroke at age 32. My family was told I wouldn't live. That is not true. 

All stray gray hairs have fallen out. As a matter of fact, most my hair was falling out and growing at the same time. I remember handfuls of hair in my hair brush, but not appearing to show signs of baldness. (This started a year after coming home from the hospital.) Dark, curly hair has replaced my straight, medium brown tresses.

This changing from straight to curly hair sounds like it could be a DNA change. This hair change has happened in chemotherapy and is commonly called Chemo Curl. I am not on chemotherapy. My medications are not associated with any hair changes.

I have gotten comments that the stroke made me younger. It is possible according to some theory that I may have reset my clock. The math I give above could fit.

Like refurbished goods, I may have new parts on the inside and the same outside. Or, I may only be really young looking. Time will tell.


Related Posts 


Tuesday, January 17, 2017

I Don't Swallow


Talking without swallowing is the problem. Swallowing uses a lot of the same muscles. So, the thinking goes, if a person can talk, that person should be able to swallow. So this is troubling when I don't swallow.

My answer comes from years of early intervention:  oral aversion due to a medical condition. I was a program manager if that means anything.

How long has it been since I have eaten? I haven't had food by mouth in 14 years. After I had a brain bleed in 2002, a stroke, I had what I call a deep coma where my eyes were closed for 5 weeks. A feeding tube was placed at that time, by cutting a hole directly in my abdomen.

I opened my eyes around mid-January. I transferred hospitals around this time. I was tested on swallowing at that second hospital. For some reason I remember Jello coming out my nose. I thought it should have been green Jello. It was red.

I was made NPO at this time. It meant I was to have no food by mouth. My coma went from closed-eye to open-eye. I was made vegetative. A bit later, at that same hospital, I started making sound. I had been silent for months. Talking had been given up on, and a computer program was being tried on me. (As a side note, it was head activated. I used my head to hit a switch. I couldn't move my arms.)

All planning had to be changed. I went from non-verbal to verbal. I only got a few weeks of speech therapy, then I had to move. My private insurance ran out because it had what was known at that time as a cap. It is a political issue that may or may not return, but I don't have that insurance anymore.

I moved around to different places, always remaining NPO, or no food by mouth. Occasionally I got something to taste, but was never fed by mouth. I taught myself how to talk. I had some training as an Infant Specialist, but I was not a speech therapist.

When I moved to the town in which I currently live, I got a few speech sessions in a neighboring town. That therapist got me to do a few sips of water. At my last session, I successfully did Ensure.

Four years ago, I had a swallowing evaluation done at this local hospital. I could not swallow food. I was still no food by mouth. Recently I was tested again. I have a feeling that the limited speaking on YouTube videos and these essays have sparked that. Again I did not swallow.

For some reason these swallow tests are being used as a test of consciousness. I did not swallow, so therefore I am not conscious.

Some people are wondering why did I swallow 32 years before the bleed, had a break, and now can't swallow. The answer is I am starting that out all over again. That's what talking was...starting out all over again.

Something occurred after my stroke, probably within minutes, that I say was probably a release of my body's own Adult Stem Cells. These stem cells would not only repair all cell damage from a stroke, but it would also wipe clean the past 32 years of learning. From looking at pictures, the last 32 years of aging may have also been wiped out.

From the way that I explain it, not swallowing doesn't sound weird. It's an aversion of food placed in my mouth. All this takes to remedy it is some speech therapy. (It would have to focus on swallowing.)

The following video shows me speaking.

As of 1/17/2017, my feeding and all supplies were restored by Medicare.

Friday, January 13, 2017

Celebrating the Weird

"But one doctor questioned Maggie’s diagnosis and arranged for her to be transported to Weill Cornell Medical College in New York City. There, she was enrolled in a clinical trial aimed at understanding how the severely injured brain recovers. While using high-tech imaging to assess brain activity, doctors asked Maggie a series of simple questions. The responses showed, without a doubt, that Maggie was still conscious. During that same visit, one of the doctors got Maggie to respond to a question using eye movement. “They told her to look down for ‘yes’ and look up for ‘no.’ When they asked her if I was in the room, there was no mistaking it, she very clearly look down,” says Nancy.
No longer labeled vegetative, but “minimally conscious,” Maggie again qualified for rehabilitation"
"But before anyone can benefit from these new treatments, they must first be correctly diagnosed as having the potential to recover. “There are a lot of people out there who could be helped but aren’t,” says Schiff. “All patients should be treated as if they too have that same potential for recovery.” -True, but it doesn't happen. Read on. You will see.

So some have the potential for recovery. Hmm...that's probably me, but I now belong to the government. Now how often does government swiftly take action?

No doctor ever questioned my state. Instead I became a prized possession. A music therapist, "I was getting ready to play (in beds and wheelchairs [patients were brought in])….I wondered will these people even be able to hear music… A sadness came over me as I looked at them. They put Angela in a wheelchair right in front of me and told me I could start playing."

"No longer labeled vegetative, but “minimally conscious,” Maggie again qualified for rehabilitation"  This never happened with me. As you can see, I was put up front. I became the spokes person for the vegetative.

That place trained me to say I was "semi-vegetative" for my diagnosis. I thought this was a good thing. I didn't know it was just a morph of the words for "persistent vegetative state." I thought I was moving up from being vegetative. This was just an illusion.

People need to ask why I was left to try and recover on my own. Why wasn't I rehabbed?