Sunday, January 14, 2018

Helping Brain Science

Comment:  "I wish we knew more about the brain back then." (Back when I had my brain injury less was known than now.)

We still don't know.

The government cut off my feeding tube supplies in Dec 2016 and I didn't get it all back on until Feb 2017. People in the government may have seen YouTube videos and the logic goes, 'you can talk, therefore you can swallow.' I don't swallow (enough for a test). I was tested and didn't pass. I never had speech therapy. A therapist works on swallowing as you go along. They don't usually get this problem. So I taught myself how to speak enough without swallowing.

I didn't realize I was supposed to be swallowing until a year ago. Long ago I did infant intervention as a home teacher. A few kids had problems with their swallows and I remember the OT recommending lollipops. (Only speech does swallowing now for those who remember.) My thought was, 'I'll teach myself to swallow.' If those babies could do it then so could I. So you see me with a lollipop a lot.

There's more to this brain rehab than just swallowing. I'm still in a coma because I don't swallow. B.S.!! I wrote this thing while I was in a coma? This needs to be looked into.

Going back to when I was first diagnosed as vegetative, I may not have been vegetative, but totally Locked-In with diminished cognitive capacity. This is why a brain-computer interface and communication software is being researched. The process is slow and has not reached the common household. Some of the beginnings of this research has in the form of 'mind controlled toys,' if you want to look for these, they are now available to the public.

The government's classifying me as in a coma prevents any study from me. "Vegetative" is a coma and one can not give consent. This is a major factor in that slow research. A lot of vegetative could probably answer "yes/no" if given the chance vegetative-state-patient-communication. It wouldn't be instant. The brain injured person has to learn the program.

I was lucky because I had movement in my head at the time. I was in Silicon Valley at the hospital I was at. I could hit a switch with my head that was hooked to a computer for "yes/no." Learning was not instant, and took a few speech therapy sessions. This technology was only available at this particular hospital. It has been 15 years now. I'm seeing the technology more wide-spread, but the typical household isn't there yet. The toys have hit faster.


By the way, I found a back door to this not being able to study problem- Open Science. Basically, keep it all public.

I have obviously progressed far enough not only to answer yes/no questions, but I can give entire descriptions.

Does anyone else see a problem with the diagnosis of "vegetative"? How does a  person give yes/no responses if that person is not conscious?

Sunday, January 7, 2018

Don't compare me to a rose.

Don't compare me to a rose. Compare me to a dandelion that grows through the crack in a sidewalk.

I'll probably be compared to Terry Wallis, but I am a great deal smarter.

Maybe I will be compared to Jon Sarkin, but with a worse brain injury (acquired savant syndrome). We both had strokes in the cerebellum of the brain. I don't paint, though. I write.

I like this video because he describes that he was bending over to get a golf tee. I was bending over to get garbage off the floor in my car. I had an accident earlier and the car would have to go in the shop.

I was very close to death. What this woman went through will have to be included.

I did not have the vision, but was near death and had a miraculous recovery.


"Far too often, [vegetative] patients ... are given up for gone, left to languish in nursing homes where no one bothers with physical therapy or even to check for glimmers of regained consciousness."It goes on, "That’s at odds with a growing body of research showing that many patients with no outward signs of awareness retain some degree of consciousness."

I don't feel like I am "languishing". At times I will get angry and frustrated that growth is slow. That means I am still progressing. I obviously am. The first seven years went by before anyone heard from me,  Stroke Connection magazine p. 9.


A rose didn't struggle to grow where it wasn't supposed to. 

The quote by E.V. has many pictures and is attributed to E.V. Thompson.

Sunday, December 31, 2017

The Legalization of Marijuana

The legalization of marijuana is over-due.

You can't see it in this video, but I have a hole in my neck. I used to be on a ventilator because I couldn't breathe. I kept the breathing tube for 3 years in my neck after I was taken off the machine. I was told not to be around smoke or risk going back on a machine. Smoking is out.
Second, I have a g-tube to get nutrition. I do not swallow. I only consistently swallow my saliva.

In the video, I am holding a medical marijuana lollipop.
(Remember, I only swallow saliva right now. Lollipops just flavor the saliva.) Marijuana was legalized in California and is making it's way across the country. Just from this, I foresee a heavy duty cough drop. It would benefit all people, not just medical marijuana users.

I have compared the banning of marijuana to the banning of alcohol during Prohibition. How well did that work? Many OTC liquid medicines have alcohol in them (like liquid Nyquil and Dimetapp). I see no problem in using medical marijuana as an ingredient in commercial medicine.

There's no reason marijuana is withheld from people. There is no reason I should be withheld from people. (I have been. The essays are just shocking.) It all boils down to beliefs, which include prejudices.

Not everyone became an alcoholic when alcohol was legalized. Not everyone will become a pothead with the legalization of marijuana.

Wednesday, December 27, 2017

My Late Recovery

The brain cell may be gone forever, but the action isn't.


Excuse me, but I used to be quadriplegic.  I would think that being able to use both hands again after 15 years qualifies as improvement. Talking wasn't good enough for the government program I was in. The doctor couldn't understand me.

Sorry I can't swallow. That is called dysphagia. A stroke can rob swallowing and that's what happened here. An inability to swallow does not mean I'm not conscious or in a coma.

Maybe that's why there aren't any recoveries here. The government seems hellbent on keeping me vegetative. Where was the investigation?


Those late recoveries... Did it ever occur that neurogenesis is happening with neuroplasticity in these cases? I bet it is very rare. This is what it looked like to me.

Neuroplasticty is rewiring. Most have heard of rewiring the brain, but what is neurogenesis?


 How many 2-month periods have I had
in the last 15 years?

I bet I'm producing more than one neuron each time. 

Thursday, December 21, 2017

Do I agree with all those theories of consciousness? No.

Do I agree with all those theories of consciousness? No, and here is why. I am unconscious. I know. I am writing this. I couldn't possibly be writing and not be conscious. 

I've garnered attention, after I started writing. I had consciousness long before, but that was like telling people in a mental ward you were not crazy. My diagnosis was "vegetative" so I was vegetative, or not conscious. Now that I am out of a hospital and write, I can write as much as I want. There is no doctor. My case is handled by bureaucrats. If I get sick, I can go to the ER, and I have a local physician for routine medical. I can not get anything out of the ordinary...this includes therapy, rehab, or routine neurology, even though I had brain surgery. I'm able to schedule a one-time appointment with a neurologist, but there is no monitoring. I don't even bother with this one anymore, and put it on my faith of doctor skill.

I posted this video in an on-line support group:

This is just one of the many theories, but a question was asked. "Do you believe all those theories?"

Precious information has now been lost. Nothing was recorded. I'm talking about brain growth. Obviously my brain has grown between now and 15 years ago when I had a severe stroke that killed all my brain but brainstem. Take a scan of my brain now. I'm sure it will show a lot more areas active than just brainstem. That is why I disagree with those theories of consciousness. I am not a theory. Real live breathing tissue holds the answer.

The general answer will be the amount. Somewhere between my brain as it is now and how it was 15 years ago lies the answer to the consciousness problem. That's going to be amount of neurons. You are going to have to have more than just brainstem.

I say information is lost because we didn't know to look at specific areas of the brain. I'm not sure if even such technology exists yet. Sure hindsight is 20/20, but what good is it if the camera hasn't been invented? These structures may only be able to be seen at autopsy. Growth may not have been able to be monitored.

The following video asks some questions that make me wonder. The split brain problem could actually be performed now. If you believe mind is outside the body, you wouldn't get two yous.

Am I me, or am I an imposter of me? I've been saying my consciousness comes from growth. Somehow a new, second, imposter brain is grown? Now that sounds silly. I'm me.

Go back to that first video. It's basically saying the mind is in the loops. These loops can exist inside and outside the body. The loops allow for consciousness.

I've most likely always had loops. Over the years, my number of loops most likely increased. Loops can't currently be measured in humans. What recently was tested on me I question. My ability to swallow was taken by the stroke. Doing what bureaucrats do, they issue an order to test my swallow. I don't swallow, so hence, I am still not conscious.
(Lollipops only mean you can handle your own saliva and that is where I'm currently at.)

Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Refurbished Goods

Get crackalackin 'cause time's awasting. Get moving. 

"How long is this going to take??" It's going on 15 years since my original bleed.

I think it is because I escaped diagnosis the first time. People are like what? It has to do with when I was a child and was a "prodigy." Remember I moved then dropped out? The school psychologist at an elementary school had started something, and I was being tracked each year to high school, but I had left that school district. I then dropped out of school altogether by passing an equivalency test.

NDE means Near Death Experience. I was very near death. I actually crossed that line a few times. My surgery records state I was resuscitated. My mother reports that she was called many times. I personally remember "coding" the last time and wrote about it,

"I believe the NDE can turn on what have been called "undead genes." The NDE and Savant Syndrome combination then re-build the information in the cell. All this information, including age-related damage, is taken by the stroke. The stroke actually kills the entire brain cell, not my entire brain. That combo of NDE and Savant Syndrome not only saved my life, but rebuilt it."

No one knows how long this window will stay open. Development seems to mirror child development, but the speed varies and one area may go faster than another. Maybe it will last 25 years, give or take a few years. It could be indefinite, but I doubt I will live that long. I know I wouldn't want this body in this condition. Everything would have to work as it should.

Can we refurbish a person? We are doing organ transplants now. New parts are being grown in the lab. We're headed in the direction of refurbishing a person.

Now my brain may have done it. Science needs to study and see.

Saturday, December 9, 2017


Angela Ronson "experienced a rare form of stroke [15] years ago [12/16/2002] while working as a [behavior specialist at mental health]. A congenital malformation of the blood vessels in her brain" leaked. I took the beginning of this article and changed it a bit (just date and job).

I had the same type of stroke as Jill Bolte Taylor. It's called an AVM Stroke. Mine was more severe. While she was awake and able to experience it, I was not. I lost consciousness and had stopped breathing. My body was put on a respirator. I cannot recount what happened, other than to go through medical records.

There were other similarities. We both studied the brain, but different aspects. I dealt with behavior and knowledge. Even if something was missing, I felt that a skill could still be learned. She knew anatomy really well. That's the big difference between mental and physical health.

We had hemorrhagic strokes. That is a bit different from the type that is taught on TV and other media. A blood vessel bleeds. The familiar stroke is caused by a clogged artery.

I actually died, my heart stopped. That's just on top of what she says here,

Similarity most likely ends there. We are different people.

The AVM in my head bled in 2002 and is called an AVM Stroke. The AVM was removed in an experimental surgery at Stanford University. It had grown back to pre-bleed size. The bleed in 2002 was catastrophic. It killed all brain lobes and left only the brainstem needed to keep the body alive.
I'm 15 years out from a stroke now. I wrote this. Did something happen and I now have brain (more than just brainstem)? Or am I just magic?