Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Refurbished Goods

Get crackalackin 'cause time's awasting. Get moving. 

"How long is this going to take??" It's going on 15 years since my original bleed.

I think it is because I escaped diagnosis the first time. People are like what? It has to do with when I was a child and was a "prodigy." Remember I moved then dropped out? The school psychologist at an elementary school had started something, and I was being tracked each year to high school, but I had left that school district. I then dropped out of school altogether by passing an equivalency test.

NDE means Near Death Experience. I was very near death. I actually crossed that line a few times. My surgery records state I was resuscitated. My mother reports that she was called many times. I personally remember "coding" the last time and wrote about it,

"I believe the NDE can turn on what have been called "undead genes." The NDE and Savant Syndrome combination then re-build the information in the cell. All this information, including age-related damage, is taken by the stroke. The stroke actually kills the entire brain cell, not my entire brain. That combo of NDE and Savant Syndrome not only saved my life, but rebuilt it."

No one knows how long this window will stay open. Development seems to mirror child development, but the speed varies and one area may go faster than another. Maybe it will last 25 years, give or take a few years. It could be indefinite, but I doubt I will live that long. I know I wouldn't want this body in this condition. Everything would have to work as it should.

Can we refurbish a person? We are doing organ transplants now. New parts are being grown in the lab. We're headed in the direction of refurbishing a person.

Now my brain may have done it. Science needs to study and see.

Saturday, December 9, 2017


Angela Ronson "experienced a rare form of stroke [15] years ago [12/16/2002] while working as a [behavior specialist at mental health]. A congenital malformation of the blood vessels in her brain" leaked. I took the beginning of this article and changed it a bit (just date and job).

I had the same type of stroke as Jill Bolte Taylor. It's called an AVM Stroke. Mine was more severe. While she was awake and able to experience it, I was not. I lost consciousness and had stopped breathing. My body was put on a respirator. I cannot recount what happened, other than to go through medical records.

There were other similarities. We both studied the brain, but different aspects. I dealt with behavior and knowledge. Even if something was missing, I felt that a skill could still be learned. She knew anatomy really well. That's the big difference between mental and physical health.

We had hemorrhagic strokes. That is a bit different from the type that is taught on TV and other media. A blood vessel bleeds. The familiar stroke is caused by a clogged artery.

I actually died, my heart stopped. That's just on top of what she says here,

Similarity most likely ends there. We are different people.

The AVM in my head bled in 2002 and is called an AVM Stroke. The AVM was removed in an experimental surgery at Stanford University. It had grown back to pre-bleed size. The bleed in 2002 was catastrophic. It killed all brain lobes and left only the brainstem needed to keep the body alive.
I'm 15 years out from a stroke now. I wrote this. Did something happen and I now have brain (more than just brainstem)? Or am I just magic?

Tuesday, December 5, 2017

I'm a UFO

I'm a "UFO of neuroscience." (3:20)
This is long. I got some information from it. It shows that various brain disorders, including brain injury can result in "islands of genius." Genius might not show up on an IQ test.

This slide is at 13:17.

Process after a brain injury that makes a genius.

After there is a brain injury, there is rewiring. Then there is "release of dormant capacity" that is genius.

Doesn't rewiring happen after most brain injuries? Geniuses are rare, but brain injury creating a new talent is more common...and not given any credit. Like it has been said, I smell the cookies before the package is open. That talent wouldn't be very common. It may be that my brain is very good at filling in missing information. It's adding the smell when I see the package. Maybe my nose knows. Whatever the reason, the talent is unrewarded.

Most brain injuries may be getting a talent. They are just not getting the genius targeted by Savant Syndrome.


I do not have savant syndrome. While I was in a coma, I was diagnosed to forever be in a coma or vegetative. I did have a brain injury, though, and I am a UFO, so to speak. I am an oddity.

Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Bad Blood

Neural repair was intentionally left out by the government. They did not perform the surgery and refused to acknowledge the university that did, Stanford. There was "bad blood" already there. The surgery is described,

There was a "trache" in my neck. This was the tube hooked to the ventilator. I hadn't used this machine in a while. It was obvious I was fine without it and the tube should be removed. The argument from Stanford was the government program better do it or they will! This issue was completely unrelated to neurosurgery. (This was the "bad blood" between them.)
Remember, the neurosurgery was already being performed as if I was an indigent. The government refused to do anything with the AVM in my head. I had to be seen at Stanford through the free clinic for people with no insurance.
Stanford represented best practices. The government program was what had to be done on a shoestring budget. Animosity may have been local, but it was the same type I had seen in other areas.
This quote applies,

The government program seldom made changes or allowances. Programs were not curtailed to individual needs. It was a cookie cutter. Everyone got the same thing. A program like Stanford would come along and stand up for one individual. In Stanford's defense, though, they had done it many times for many individuals.

They saw the individual getting trampled.


Friday, November 24, 2017


From what I can figure, there was a mixture of factors going on in my medical case. To lump it all together and say I'm in a coma won't work. Obviously; could I write this and have deductive thinking if I was in a coma? I'll elaborate on a post, "This is a biological issue that I think savant syndrome helped cause. A stroke isn't enough to wipe out cell info. Something had to be present to reprogram. It doesn't stop there. The NDE turns on the learning window- the "undead" genes." I then link to a story on undead genes.

First of all, I just didn't have a stroke all alone. If the entire ordeal was just a single brain injury, I would have died soon after I stopped breathing. I never would have been taken down the mountains. I never would have been flown to a trauma center.

Second, Savant Syndrome has to be present PRIOR to any head injury. I'm writing this that's proof that it is there. I say Savant Syndrome had to already be present. I believe the syndrome actually kept my body alive for hours until it was brought to a trauma center. It's responsible for me waking up and waking up fast. 5 weeks doesn't sound fast, but 5 weeks to open my eyes compared to never is very fast. Signs of Savant Syndrome can be traced back to my childhood. I was found to be extremely intelligent at this time, but still within Advanced Placement.

Now I had a brain injury. My memory is completely wiped out (at the time of incident and not now). Determining an NDE occurred would have to be made by a professional used to having non-verbal and limited speaking clients. Now I could speak some by the time I met Dr Morse, but I didn't remember any NDE. I have little memory of the day I had the stroke before I lost consciousness. I only remember the sound of an alarm while my eyes were closed (the ventilator). I only remember "seeing" the pastor of my church immediately after initial surgery. (Technically, this would not have been possible for me.)

I believe the NDE can turn on what have been called "undead genes." The NDE and Savant Syndrome combination then re-build the information in the cell. All this information, including age-related damage, is taken by the stroke. The stroke actually kills the entire brain cell, not my entire brain. That combo of NDE and Savant Syndrome not only saved my life, but rebuilt it.

Living a longer life would be a side-effect of the repair of my injury.

The NDE makes an environment conducive for learning by turning on the "undead genes." It opens the learning window. This is where a new, blank cell would be made. Savant Syndrome is then able to go to work and rebuild the information in the new cell with the old cell DNA. This reprogramming is like we saw in the movie Jurassic Park, but man provides a new cell and the DNA is millions of years old in the movie.

I am a soup of neurons and genes. Not just one factor can determine the entire injury I had. The recipe saved my life. If you only have the "S", you can't label it. "SO" I open my eyes. You look a little silly calling it "S". Now other factors turn "UP". You really look silly calling soup "S".

Somebody really looks silly saying I'm still in a coma.

Sunday, November 19, 2017

Where I Went

I shared a photo the other day of a doctor I had 14 years ago. My bleed was 15 years ago. This was the first place I went to after I had a brain bleed, my AVM stroke. It was a private rehab at a county hospital.

I spent a great deal longer there than government insurance would cover. As far as I know this program doesn't accept government insurance. I kept my work insurance after discharge under a little used ruling called COBRA. This is probably the first clue I had all my faculties plus more. Not many people are aware of the ruling.

The place I went to is a top notch brain rehabilitation program in California. I credit a lot of what you see today to them. They laid the foundation of which later skills are built on. The skill you see today may not have been there yet while I was there, but the building blocks were.

This is the first time I left a hospital for a few hours. 
It was that rehab. You can see the tube in my neck 
that would later be hooked to a ventilator.
On later thought, not many can be unhooked from a ventilator.

My post:
Hey! I haven't seen a pic of her in a long time. The 3rd from left is [my doctor back then]. She was my doctor there 14yrs ago.
I went to this rehab with my prvt work ins. When the ins ran out I became govt n moved many times. The govt ruled me not conscious n vegetative. I was not to get rehab.
I wasn't talking or typing yet, so it had to be a trip for [people at that rehab] to hear from me.
I left a govt program in 2006. I kept getting told I'd die before 40. I'll soon be 48.
They, Valley Medical Center Rehabilitation knew something was up, tho. They suspected Locked-In Syndrome back then. It prolly was. So many now said it most likely is the case n my typing is me coming out.
The govt still has me listed as vegetative! Not only no rehab, but no neuro either. Neuro is only consult to a hospital. I'm not in a hospital.

I didn't stay in the rehab because my insurance ran out. I had reached my cap. (Currently, this can't  happen. It depends on politics.) I became Medi-Cal in California. This is the national Medicaid program.

I moved many times. I'd say this was due to lack of case management. I'd be put in a program. After there for a bit, the program administrators saw that I didn't fit the program and I'd have to move. A case manager would match the fit before any person is sent. My paperwork is also an issue. According to that paperwork, I am unconscious. Imagine staff surprise when they find out that I'm not,

Government placement kept saying I would die soon. Now that I think about it, what were they basing this assumption on? The CDC mean is 78.8 years before death. At the last hospital in that lengthy stay, a doctor said to a nurse right in front of me, "She won't make it to 40." Did that doctor mean I'd die if I remained in care? There will be no argument from me if that was the reason. I already had one hospital super bug that nearly claimed me. I don't think this was what that doctor meant when he said that, though. This is completely contradictory.... The hospital staff thought that I'd die from an AVM bleed, but they removed the stitches from the experimental surgery that removed it.

That is a dead body in the top left corner.
My roommate had died. 
I got used to death being nearby.

To believe I would die from something not there was due to poor record keeping. I can only say, 'Get off your high horse! You didn't perform the surgery, so it never happened? You refused to note it? Now there are even bigger problems."

True life expectancy was never addressed. I have made the only attempt,
What if the following happened, "I was thinking that the way I believe neurogenesis was started may have possibly set up a never-ending cycle"? This should be addressed.

Not much could be done for me if some freak accident gave me immortality. (Longevity is more likely, but imagination doesn't hurt.) A heads up could be given to scientists in the field of longevity. Who said this couldn't be cross-disciplined? I am the writer here, and I can notify whoever I want.

There is definitely something wrong with life-expectancy. The govt was saying 40 before I left. I'll be 48 in Jan. The AVM was removed, so go back to the CDC estimate of 78.8, right? Well no if a stroke is the event that cleans damage of age left in cells. Take the CDC avg and add my age at time of stroke.

Sunday, November 12, 2017

It's How You Use Your Memory

"Knowing HOW to access information is more important than memorization. The computer can hold the facts, but you hold the computer."

The following was posted in an on-line group. Eben Alexander III is an author and neurosurgeon. Dr Alexander writes, "Memory is not even located in the physical brain, but accessed through it (as is fundamental consciousness itself). Neurosurgeons have suspected this for decades -- it is the giant white elephant in the room. All of those neocortical resections and never an ounce of disappearance of memory. Damage to hippocampus merely prevents conversion of short term to long term memory. Never has any such ablation/resection resulted in loss of definable memories. Failure to locate memory in the brain is one of the final nails in the coffin of reductive materialist neuroscience -- all this and much more explained in our new book, Living in a Mindful Universe (Rodale Books, 2017), co-authored with Karen Newell."

Now I think I'd have to have some memory, or I'd be reaching for a dictionary to spell every word I write. I'm going with the fact that I have brain cells. The government has me labeled as a vegetable and therefore I don't have brain cells for thinking. I only have brainstem for my heart and lungs.

We are capable of performing amazing feats, but I'd rather look up a phone number, than memorize an entire phone book. In this way, I only have to remember how to use a telephone book.

This becomes the reasoning to develop writing. If not, we go back to the beginning of civilization and depend on oral stories to be passed down. "Without writing the flow of ideas halted shortly beyond the source. The importance of writing stems from the fact that writing is the primary basis upon which communication, history, record keeping, and art is begun."

The human accesses memory in this way.  Memory becomes a tool for use.