Tuesday, November 18, 2014

The Drive

I question myself...Did I get these special abilities after a brain injury...or did I always have them? I've just had to rely on them now. They have been there. I just didn't use them.

I've always been smart; super-smart. Pull-out in school started in the 4th grade. In junior high I remember using the local college library for my research papers. I left high school at 16 (tested out). Started college a month later at 17. Schooling was always easy for me.
Holding focus was not as easy. Even my AA and BA are in two different majors. I think it was my senior year in college that I changed my major from business to psychology. My MA is a third major, Special Education. I could hold my attention...just not keep focus.

There's another trait I've always had...music. I played piano quite a bit. There was also guitar. I also did a year of trumpet. All came fairly easy. Now that I am unable to play an instrument due to disability, music theory continues.

Writing was something I knew how to do, but I only did it when I needed to. Now I need to write. It's my means of communication. I'd dare say, this man communicates emotion through painting. Although he has words, feelings are not expressed that way.


At 2:59, if you sit for hours working on the same thing, it's going to happen.

Focus and drive are more intense now after the brain injury. Intelligence has been there. I've focused on myself, so I've applied the intelligence to myself.

I see my knowledge as a free commodity, and have therefor shared it, https://plus.google.com/114061315171466252323/posts/iMnFUwnweU6 It doesn't matter where the knowledge comes from. Sure you can cite the source, but we don't cite our parents (or caretaker) for knowing our ABC's.

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

It Gives Hope

What happens if I'm given Savant Syndrome?  Well...it means I'm conscious, which is important to me. It also gives hope to the tons of brain injury survivors and their families. I got a winning lottery ticket. There is one! So often brain injury survivors are told there is no hope. Me having Savant Syndrome makes this not true.

The person who does this will be fighting a big issue sometimes referred to as NEUROLOGICAL NIHILISM "A neurological nihilism—a sense that treatment for many brain problems was ineffective or even unwarranted—had taken hold, and it spread through our culture, even stunting our overall view of human nature. Since the brain could not change, human nature, which emerges from it, seemed necessarily fixed and unalterable as well." http://www.normandoidge.com/?page_id=1639 This issue is big. It doesn't affect a few countries, but the whole world.

I see the countries in my blog stats. It's not just a few. There are many. There are countries I never heard of. The issue of me not being conscious is global. "Come to Spain," not said in that way, but I'm too busy waving my American flag. (Actually, there was a doctor in Spain. His broken English gave that message.) It's too risky for me to move to another country.
There is a local issue tied to this. A bit ago, a woman with a brain injury caused by a medical condition, had her feeding tube removed. She died. It held lots of controversy. I've been stuck on this one a while. Then it hit me the other day...apply the same thinking we do to late-term abortion. This woman's tube was removed rather late in the game. It was highly controversial . I look  at old videos and question her level of consciousness. Like late-term abortion rules, this would still be controversial, but what happened to her wouldn't have happened. I noticed a hole in her neck. Removal from ventilator early on would have been better. Time limits will have to be developed as not all situations involve a ventilator.

As it is now, the current ruling can be applied to me. I'm obviously not vegetative anymore. This is what happens when the word "persistent" is changed to "permanent." My lack of consciousness persisted, but it wasn't permanently gone. Since the word was changed, I am now permanently without consciousness. This ruling is also in part responsible for my avoidance of hospitals. I'm not going somewhere that might end my life. I find this funny because I was e-mailed explaining that I am in a coma.

Now we go on to Savant Syndrome, Acquired type. "Savant syndrome is a rare but spectacular condition in which persons with developmental disabilities, including but not limited to autism, or other central nervous system (CNS) disorders or disease have some spectacular “islands of genius” that stand in jarring juxtaposition to overall limitations." https://www.wisconsinmedicalsociety.org/professional/savant-syndrome/resources/articles/savant-syndrome-2013-myths-and-realities/  Sounds like me. I wrote this paper, yet I am so disabled I should be in a coma. If you were under the impression that this disorder was autistic only, it does state, "or other central nervous system (CNS) disorders." A brain injury is this. The acquired type of savant syndrome can occur after a brain injury.

That paper goes on, "Typically the skills occur in five general areas—music, art, calendar calculating, mathematics or mechanical/visual-spatial skills." Music could have been if I was able to hold an instrument. My grandmother was a piano teacher. As a baby she would hold me on her lap and sit at the piano. Formal lessons most likely started when I was 4, but I was already advanced. I played in my first piano recital when I was 5. I played daily until I was 9 years old. I moved and saw my grandmother once a week. Children can lose interest and I did. When I was 16. I started piano again, but not as strict, as I was a teenager with ideas. When 16, right before 17, I left high school and started college I
taught myself guitar when 18. I also graduated from college  https://myspace.com/angelar70/post/activity_profile_366221284_dc708415bae048fd93b651b12b20bdf9/comments
Writing can be a form of art-literary art. I use it as a form of communication. That's one reason there is so much. I will be creative. That's where the art comes in. I don't think about that, though.

I tell how I use math, http://thoughtfulveg.blogspot.com/2014/11/impeding-science.html . I will do a complete data-based functional analysis.
I found this in that paper surprising. That article specifically mentions something I do, "Other skills occur less frequently including...outstanding knowledge in specific fields such as neurophysiology." https://www.wisconsinmedicalsociety.org/professional/savant-syndrome/resources/articles/savant-syndrome-2013-myths-and-realities/  How did I end up as group administrator of an on-line group called Neurophysics+? If you have Facebook, the group is located at https://www.facebook.com/groups/IFLNeuro/
It is possible that I just have superpowers. The video below is a man diagnosed with Savant Syndrome, Acquired. His very first sentence, "I don't know how to say Godly moment, but it was one of those moments where you are starting to question what's going on." His injury was from a swimming pool accident. Again, a brain injury not only gives hope but wins the lottery.
Instead of superpowers, I say there must be a reason.

Saturday, November 8, 2014

Impeding Science

My unconsciousness is impeding science. The talk above is not 100% correct, but it's enough to make me conscious again.
Just because I should be unconscious on paper does not mean I actually am unconscious in real life.
Since I am unconscious, science can't really study me. So...I'll put stuff here.
There's something I do that's closely related to math. I will do a  data-based functional analysis. It's close to http://specialed.about.com/od/specialedacronyms/g/aba.htm but doesn't always involve a behavior.
Strange mathematical abilities can appear after a brain injury. It happened to Jason Padgett.

This blog will give me a list of views. Other websites will do that as well. I'll take the data and do a complete functional analysis. Some people are surprised by what I find, but I'm just given numbers.

That's just computer data. I will do the same with behavioral data. I will do an ABA, or Applied Behavioral Analysis.

Long ago I made a statement that math is the "glue" that holds the universe together. I said it without thinking, and I don't think about it now. There's only one way to do math and it's done the same way no matter what language you speak. The comment was important enough for someone to report on it, " She recently reported to us that math is the glue of the Universe, and is the spiritual equivalent to the Christian concept of the Holy Spirit, in our lives. That is a profound statement of the scientific (math) spiritual (Holy Spirit) connection that we all need to understand better. " http://spiritualscientific.com/DrMorseBlog/2010/11/09/angela-ronson-part-3-how-our-brain-is-connected-to-the-universe/ I think it's something we already know and I'm just pointing it out. 

Monday, November 3, 2014

You Talking to Me?

Imagine...a patient goes into the ER with her own equipment and her doctor's cell phone number. (The doctor was on vacation, and it was a Sunday also.) I had everything. I just needed skilled labor. It's okay that they didn't know what to do. I did.
It was worse when I couldn't talk. The Stooges was the norm. People knew what to do, but they didn't know they were supposed to do it. (Like when I coded but then opened my eyes. "Do you still want to be intubated?" I said "no." First of all, you don't intubate a conscious, talking person. Second, I coded? That was never addressed. Why did I open my eyes? Did these people also need to be told what to do? They were a specialized team.
Now I see what was needed...direction. Having the proper tools also helped.


"Talking to me" was a shock. My speech hasn't been that great. It was once non-existent. I listened to my daughter describe how I used to point out letters on a board (Speech Therapists, that's what this is...pointing out and pressing letters on an electronic communication board.) Before pointing, I'd blink.

I didn't have the behaviors. 
She says she was wired wrong.
I wasn't even wired.


I speak now, although there are times I am difficult to understand. Loved ones will take the time. Sometimes they will have me repeat it correctly. I was surprised when the GI Specialist called and wanted to speak to me.

I don't talk to people I don't know on the phone. There's a joke with my family that I speak Spanish. A person called once from my daughter's union to give the topic of the up-coming meeting. As soon as I opened my mouth, "Oh, let me go get someone who speaks Spanish." So now I speak. It's just a different language.

If you understand me, remember there were many takes, this was a good day,
and you took the time to listen to me talk slowly.

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Progress Doesn't Count Here

"You are a fraud. Prove you were in a vegetative state. No one in that kind of mental state of being can use a computer much less form coherent thought. You are nothing but a troll preying on the lesser intelligencia who gullibly believes in your crap." - comment from BerryM on http://thoughtfulveg.blogspot.com/2013/06/why-i-shook-my-head.html

I'm not a fraud. The government made a mistake. It's a pretty big one, too. To mistakenly label someone as unconscious is big. According to this statement above, the government does not make mistakes. The government was right all those years ago, I am a "vegetable."

So it asks for proof... http://thoughtfulveg.blogspot.com/2014/10/the-medical-records-of-horror-story.html quotes the most from medical records. I'm not a corpse anymore, either. Why doesn't that get any comments?

This is where I was. (I'd still be there if it didn't close. Could what I am experiencing be due to a failing economy? That would be awesome!) You can't tell me no mistake was made. A music therapist says, "I first played guitar for her when she was in the Sub-Acute area of El Camino Hospital. A nurse one day begged me to come and play for the people there that had no hope. They were what are referred to as "vegetables" and when I first saw them pushed into the room I was getting ready to play (in beds and wheelchairs)….I wondered will these people even be able to hear music…" http://thoughtfulveg.blogspot.com/2012/02/angela.html

I was labeled not conscious because I didn't move. Now that I move you think it would be changed. No, it won't. The government has gone so far as to send me an e-mail explaining to me that I am in a coma, http://thoughtfulveg.blogspot.com/2014/05/dear-vegetable.html

Progress doesn't count. You are stuck with what you are given and that's it.

So back to that comment, "...No one in that kind of mental state of being can use a computer much less form coherent thought..." I agree. That state can't. Why am I still classified in this state? Is it because my speech isn't understood? I've worked hard on that so it can be. That means it goes back to http://neurosciencenews.com/neuroimaging-consciousness-vegetative-state-1444/ Scientists Find ‘Hidden Brain Signatures’ of Consciousness in Vegetative State Patients  Oh no! I'm not understood. Now it's something different.

I've learned your way, but I'm still classified "vegetative." Whoa. That's oppression.

 Someone who is asleep will not say no. Neither will someone who is unconscious.

If anyone is "gullible" and feels like I am "preying on [your] lesser intelligencia," please don't read this. It is just a blog, and is full of my opinions. Go read the tabloids or a science fiction novel. I'm not twisting your arm.

If anyone wishes to reply to the above comment, it's at http://thoughtfulveg.blogspot.com/2013/06/why-i-shook-my-head.html

Thursday, October 9, 2014

Don't Get Your Hopes Up

Are you just fooling yourself? "Once confirmed, Angela Ronson, 'progress,' defined as the patient's conditions changes and she's willing to have it studied, would appear to be a valued & positive status upgrade."- Robert Demichelis II. The "progress" I've had has been going on for a long time. What would all of a sudden happen to change that to the progress is now recognized?

Some are excited over the fact I'm exhibiting movement on my paralyzed side. http://thoughtfulveg.blogspot.com/2014/08/my-parralyzed-hand.html  This progress isn't something new. You are reading this typed with my other "paralyzed" hand. I didn't go to a therapy to get this hand working. I did this myself...mostly using marbles and containers. The marbles came from a recreation cabinet when I was in long-term care at a "real" hospital. No formal therapy. This is what I did years ago with special needs preschoolers.

Progress goes further than that. The big one I noticed was sound. I started making sounds like 7 months after waking from a coma. This is the deep sleep I was in. The government says I'm currently in a coma. I don't think so. I opened my eyes. I just couldn't move and that's what they call coma. I'm too slow to make deadlines, so the original diagnosis stuck. Now I talk. It's funny since I still have that original diagnosis. 

No therapy on that one. That's big. Progress can be heard. The government still has me in a coma, though.

I don't see this new movement I have making any changes. It should...but I don't see it. The government can be very slow. Don't get your hopes up that "this" will be the change. Change will happen on its own time. In the mean time, I will embarrass some people.

Some may think, "OMG! The real deal...savant syndrome." I refer you to the experts. Making diagnoses has never been my thing (and I've been in the position.) I'm not starting with myself.

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

The Medical Records of a Horror Story

I obtained my initial medical records. I knew something was amiss. My initial Glasgow coma score (an initial score of consciousness) was very low. It was 3. The lowest you can get while still alive is a 3.

Recently I re-read the initial hospital transfer record. I knew it said resuscitated, but I wanted to see how the word was used. "Resuscitation" is bringing someone back to life. CPR is cardiopulmonary resuscitation. If someone has a heart attack, you want to get their heart beating again so you do CPR. You are essentially bringing that person back to life. I wanted the whole context of the word used.

I was stunned when I read the sentence, "The patient's blood pressure and hypothermia was resuscitated." Blood pressure is restarting the heart, but I couldn't believe "hypothermia" was also done. Hypothermia is when your body temperature is below normal. My body was cold.

So I was cold and had no heartbeat. Isn't that a cadaver? I had to look that up. A cadaver is a dead human body ready for dissection.

"Hypothermia was resuscitated," would mean a cold, dead body is brought back to normal body temperature. Not only was my heart restarted, but my body was warmed back up.

Restarting a heart and warming up a corpse has been done in fiction. Now it's in real life.

Why it was decided to revive me as opposed to sending me to the morgue I do not know. For everyone who says "You are lucky to be alive," I can answer, "I'm supposed to be dead. YOU are lucky I am alive."