My Experience (for IANDS)

I submitted this to the International Association for Near Death Studies, Inc, IANDS. I will post a link if they publish it.     - Angela

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I am still vegetative. This happened in 2002.
http://thoughtfulveg.blogspot.com/2016/05/my-ndes.html

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From Dec 16, 2002, to most of Jan 2003, I was in a flat out cold, eyes closed coma. There was no mistaking this. I was out.

I opened my eyes mid-January. It was actually my left eye. I didn't talk or move. I was labeled vegetative, case closed. I would die the next time the AVM in my head bled.

I learned to communicate with my family by blinking. I went to a rehab in Northern California. Their contention was that I was not vegetative. I had Locked-In Syndrome. They got the left side of my body moving. Right before I left there, I started vocalizing.

I taught myself to speak some while the government moved me around. In 2004, I had surgery at Stanford to remove the AVM in my head.

I spent another year and a half in a government program. You are seeing the results of what I did. I got my left hand able to type. That place was closing. I got a sister to sign me out, I was never discharged.

I had other things to do. That program was wasting my time. I rehabbed my left hand. I taught myself to talk. The nurses were putting me up front because I was a star. Didn't it ever occur to them that I was such a star because of the surgery I had at Stanford? They tried to suppress that. Did they want the credit?

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So that government program told me that my diagnosis was "semi-vegetative." That still means vegetative.

Am I just an empty vessel channeling the spirits of dead people? Is my writing no more than an elaborate Ouija board?

I have a second theory. I'm not vegetative at all. My brain cells grew back. We won't know without testing.
Either way it's mystical.

Idiocy

It now approaches idiocy to continue saying that I am vegetative, or not conscious. Now that I get ideas across, it is extremely difficult to say that I am not conscious. What is vegetative in me then? Nothing. The quality of being "Vegetative" exists in your perception of me. As time goes on, I adapt and technology improves. Your perception of me changes.

In this next video, if you take away the man's computer, what do you have?

Oh my!

When I left the hospital I was not typing. I did not have the hand dexterity to hit a selected computer key. Computers existed and so did trackball mice for computers, so there's no excuse for the technology not being there. A mouse can select characters, and I had enough movement for a mouse.

A trackball mouse works opposite of the standard computer mouse. The mouse is stationary, and the hand or thumb moves a trackball. The ball controls the cursor on the screen of the computer.

I plan to order this for my right hand.

The person who knows this technology is lacking in most places. Traditionally, this role has been filled by the Occupational Therapist (OT). I don't think the OT at that last hospital I was at knew much about computers.

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I think it's funny that I got, read, and responded to an e-mail explaining to me that I am in a coma, http://thoughtfulveg.blogspot.com/2014/05/dear-vegetable.html

http://thoughtfulveg.blogspot.com/2014/05/dear-vegetable.html

This will happen in a pseudo-coma. Yes, pseudo as in fake. People, doctors, were fooled. I came back to tell them.

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Pseudo-coma is also called Locked-In Syndrome. That diagnosis was ignored at the beginning, and now there are problems. I have limited speaking which continues to slowly improve and I write a lot.

First, the writing, speaking, and increasing limited movement I am showing are all products of me coming out of Locked-In Syndrome. Second, I write. This appears to be Savant Syndrome, but it is not yet established as a diagnosing disorder.

This secondary condition is harder to prove, for the condition. At times it appears paranormal. The behaviors can't be explained, but they shouldn't be ignored. It will be hard to say that this writing doesn't exist. This condition needs to be made a diagnosing disorder. Then it can be studied. Even I am overwhelmed into believing I have paranormal powers. People unrelated to the situation need to look at it.

This is from the movie Michael. 

The actor is hiding angel wings under his coat.

A Resilient Child Grows To Have Grit

My mother, Myra P Metz was a major contributor to this.

 - Angela 

Back in 2004, after the craniotomy at Stanford, the neurosurgeon told me to now expect my usual brain development. Big smiles from me. I knew it wasn't usual. My  mother can tell you about my development. I'll just let you know I remember giving instructions on how to get home from my car seat.

"...you had a foot that was more dominant and one foot that turned and dragged. You had to have a special shoe." It goes on. "Also your eyes didn't focus well and one eye drifted. You also used to bang your head on the wall purposely which is kind of autistic-like."

"You were very early with using language and making the connection for abstract symbols and language. Your memory was like photo imagery."

"One thing you had very little of was patience.  You were always obsessed with how things worked and you used to dismantle things in the house to see how they worked. I think you were the one who took apart the window crank opener when you were two by climbing up on the dresser."

I remembered taking things apart.

I loved this show as a kid. He'd use parts of things.

I had a pink transistor radio like in the image. I would regularly take it apart.

When I was 18 I got an old car, a '68 Chrysler convertible. This thing was huge! You could probably seat a family of 5 in the front seat alone, although there were only three seatbelts. I'd take this thing apart and put it back together. I can rebuild a carburetor, but that's a lost skill now.

"There was another thing I just remembered from your early development. You never crawled." I'll have to check on  this issue, but never thought about affects.

"Most babies go through that stage where they get up on their knees and propel their torsos back and forth, but you never did that. You would lay on your tummy and it looked like you were swimming but never got anywhere. To get someplace you would roll your body. Then you would pull yourself up once you got to a spot where you could hold onto something. You took off walking at 12 months, but you never went through a crawling stage which I understand is very important in the development of other body and brain functions."

From what I remember, crawling is important for reading. I was an early reader. I must have got the skill to read across the page elsewhere. I'm thinking music gave me this skill. I could read music first. It's okay to get skills elsewhere.

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The description of the child sounds like brain compromise. Knowing I had that AVM, it probably bled in early childhood. Here is the first brain injury.

I did very well. I did extremely well! I started playing piano! I was a resilient child.

My Talent
(click)

A One-Man Show

All I can say to researchers and scientists is don't get yourself in trouble. If you depend on govt funding, then don't jeopardize that. I already have a diagnosis, Semi-Vegetative. I and others know this is wrong. Let it stand. As time goes on this looks like a foolish decision. Time will take care of this.

 

Damn, I have a lot of the same qualities as Tammet (the man in the videos below)! Things like this will make you question what's going on.

 -Angela 

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I don't perform a 1-man savant show either.

About this person: "He is unusual not just because of his lucid writing style and his ability to analyze his own thoughts and behavior," but  he also has a rare disorder. https://www.nytimes.com/2007/02/15/garden/15savant.html

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I bet being forthcoming comes from the NDE and the severity of the injury I had.

This movie has sub-titles.

The following is a list of changes due to the NDE:

The Transformation

1. Death is joyous, safe, comfortable. a continuation, not to be feared.

2. Change in profession or job

3. Greater spiritual outlook on life

4. Increased risk taking

5.  Greater "zest for living". Life is for living, the "light" is for later.

6.  Greater appreciation of the daily struggles of ordinary life.

7.  Sense of meaning, even in the most mundane aspects of life.

8. Divorce is common.

9. Greater sensitivity to emotions, feelings, lessons of love.

10. Increased time spent with family, friends, social activities

11. Greater contributions to charity, volunteer service.

12. Decreased over the counter and illicit drug use.

13. More loving, caring for others.

14. More likely to be in a helping or service oriented profession.

15. Can be more resilient emotionally, take more emotional risks as transformation permits accelerated healing.

16. Become religious or spiritual leaders especially after Hellish experiences.

http://braininjuryknow.blogspot.com/2014/06/brain-injury-and-near-death-experience.html

I originally got this list off Dr Morse's website, but I have used it. I am more helping, or #14. You will also see #11 in that I freely volunteer info. I have many of these changes.

I believe that in a video that I saw, a child described his parent as a much nicer person. That I am. I think the word is "wiser", though. I was already nice.

I had lots of time to think. I wanted a way to get all my knowledge out. If I was going to die, it wouldn't be learning for waste. I thought about how to get it out.          

You get this.

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I gave up on math in the 10th grade. I was taking trigonometry. I remember going to regional Math Super Bowls in grade school. Teachers saw amazing math ability back then. I would have tried this math thing back then.

Don't go looking for it now. I said I gave it up long ago. What's still there may be higher than average, but it's not amazing.

It's concepts for me now...and they have to be meaningful. I see math as an important tool to have, but it won't get all the answers.

The answer is not 42.