"How do you get on here?"

"How do you get on here?" I was asked. "Carefully! " I wrote back."Ha! This has taken me yrs. I do have 1 finger to use now. My head is full of knowledge."

Watch how the boy points at letters. I am doing the same except with a computer keyboard. I don't have any of those behaviors.

I can move my left arm as I want. I worked a long time and have refined my ability to hit and press a key. At first, I took days to write an answer. Now it might be 10 minutes if not too much is needed. 

                                                        

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I said that I didn't have the behaviors in that video. I didn't have any behavior. In the following video, see how the man sits and stares until his father puts music on. I don't require music, but the lack of behavior is the same.  

This movie is based on an Oliver Sacks case.
The man has a brain tumor.

"Everyone has some level of innate intuitive capability"

So, I am Jedi....

I came across a paper describing how to develop Jedi powers.

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"Everyone has some level of innate intuitive capability." https://globalfreedommovement.org/scientific-proof-of-jedi-powers-and-how-to-develop-them/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=Social&utm_campaign=SocialWarfare&fbclid=IwAR2xLAIP5pl-7XlBqwIiRl7gB_O9cnobCKX-KpUiHKbBjVXN3EwHWgzd0zI 
I already knew mine. It happened once and I knew it would keep happening. I learn extremely fast. It has been so fast that it attracted the attention of the school psychologist. 

I got bumped up in work level. By the time that I hit the 7th grade, I was having my mother drive me to the local university library to use the journals for research papers. I had a learning ability, not a super power. Maybe I thought this way because I did remain with my peers. I was to be moved up a grade level in kindergarten, but my mother was against it. In the fourth grade, I only did pull-out for reading. Junior high and high school had advanced placement classes with my peers. 

When I had this injury I got an idea. I had the stroke in 2002 and the neurological repair surgery in 2004, so the idea had to come in 2005. That sounds about right, because that is when I started work on this hand that I type with. It had to move appropriately. My idea was simple for me. I would do it. I would "rehab" my body. 

So much time has passed that it can't be called rehab, but it should be called remediation. There has to be over-lap.

 __________________

"Parts of the brain are associated  with psychic powers. "Dr. Melvin Morse believes humans have a sixth sensory ability located “within” the right temporal lobe, hippocampus, and related limbic structures. According to him, this region “interprets information obtained through communication with an interactive universe,” and allows for telepathic communication with other people through their right temporal lobes. “It involves perception of other realities.” He states that we perceive the operation of the right temporal lobe as “intuition.”              

https://globalfreedommovement.org/scientific-proof-of-jedi-powers-and-how-to-develop-them/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=Social&utm_campaign=SocialWarfare&fbclid=IwAR2xLAIP5pl-7XlBqwIiRl7gB_O9cnobCKX-KpUiHKbBjVXN3EwHWgzd0zI

No wonder why Dr Morse would ask me what I smelled that day. Smell is part of the limbic system.

Functional neurogenesis is there.  I had a brain injury. My focus was there. I wanted new neurons. Neurons are mostly made in the hippocampus (area of brain), but you don't smell with that. There's no excitement there. However, some neurons are made in the olfactory bulb. Now that was exciting. The sense of smell came from there.

 __________________

I speak. Once I couldn't. I typed this with my left hand. I couldn't move my arms after the stroke. "I went from no swallow to a very small one." (Facebook comment) Now I can eat lollipops. It has been years, but these skills are now enough to be worked on by a therapist.

That's getting people. That means I was there all this time. That means I was misdiagnosed. That means I AM CURRENTLY MISDIAGNOSED.

Long ago I was told in that government program at the last hospital in my long stay, that I was imagining improvement. I left. They were doing nothing. I could do more as incapacitated as I was (long ago I worked with special needs children). Sure it's slow now, but it is better than nothing. That is why I speak enough to be understood and type with one finger, but I am vegetative. I slowly work on it.

 __________________

The old mind-body problem comes up.
My case takes you closer.

Getting My Story Out

"It was an honor to tell Angela’s miraculous story in my Merced Sun-Star column" -Mike Tharp.
 

The article was scanned. The direct link doesn't work anymore, but  I put the article in this story,  https://thoughtfulveg.blogspot.com/2012/02/angela.html My music therapist scanned it for an e-mail.

I made the therapist's e-mail into a story. He gives his first-hand account of me. He saw that I was placed with the vegetative patients and that I had started talking. He saw that I was put up front to show off my success. (Unknowingly, the hospital was showing off a grave error. They were showing off that I was misdiagnosed.)

___________________

I don't know why the government STILL says I'm not conscious. It doesn't look good. It looks like they are hiding something. It looked like they were hiding me.

It doesn't make  any sense. I can give the first 5 years to honest mistake. The second set of 5 years should have been investigation. What is the third set (10-15 years)? I'm now on  my way to 17 years. There's no excuse.

___________________

This is the problem with the government's cookie cutter policy. Other cases are not like mine. Every brain injury is different as is every brain. We are individuals.

Saying that we are individuals can get me in trouble. Yes, people as a group are alike in many ways. Each person, though, is unique.

___________________

My brain injury was repairable. I wouldn't immediately have regression and die if I was given the proper treatment. I had to find the independent university that would do this. Stanford, this university, was never given any credit.

What you have been seeing is brain growth. It's slow and methodical. I am not recovering lost skills. I am re-learning them. I'm a fast learner (but it's still years from my injury.)

My Set Up

My set up...

When I opened my eyes almost two months after a stroke, a machine was breathing for me. I did not breathe on my own.

I did not speak, either.

Like the man in that video above, I could only blink my left eye. "On 8 December 1995 at the age of 43, [Jean-Dominiqe] Bauby suffered a major stroke. When he woke up twenty days later, he found he was entirely speechless; he could only blink his left eyelid. Called locked-in syndrome, this is a condition wherein the mental faculties remain intact but most of the body is paralyzed. In Bauby's case, his mouth, arms, and legs were paralyzed, and he lost 27 kilograms (60 lb) in the first 20 weeks after his stroke,". https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jean-Dominique_Bauby

I'm alive at home and no one knows how. 1. I got off that machine. 2. I learned my medical care. 3. I became vocal, just a few words. 4. I convinced a doctor to let me die at home. I didn't die, though. I've been slowly getting better. (I had an experimental surgery at an independent hospital addressing my impending death.) _____________________ 

It's not possible that I have any genetic links to this person, Jean-Dominique Bauby. He is a few years younger than my father and died a few years before my stroke. I never knew of his case until years after my stroke. Genetic Memory can not be involved in this instance. What can be spooky, though, may be even spookier in my case. I am familiar with Carl Jung's principals. One I wanted to know more about is connected to psychic activity, the Collective Unconscious. This is the spooky term. Genetic memories may not have been passed down to me. Rather, I picked up on other people's memories and knowledge. I knew what to do because they knew what to do.
_____________________

It will be strange. I started with an NDE, Near Death Experience. NDEs have been associated with miracle healings, but these have been much quicker. I've been getting better for years. Near Death Experiences are strange. They are not explainable. People who have had them have been called mentally ill. The NDE cannot be proved. People who say they have had them are skeptically looked at. My NDE is a bit different. Medical records must be used to determine near and actual death. Also due to my type of injury, I have little to no recollection of that particular instance. My current behavior, or outcomes, will have to determine what happened. This makes the NDE referable. I have no idea how far this slow progression will go.

Phenomenal Recovery

Locked-In Syndrome was considered 16 years ago, but I was already PVS, vegetative from 17 years ago. Nothing was written down so any "phenomenal recovery" for me is in the garbage. - Angela 9/18/2019

I  didn't want to use the word "oppression," but darn it that word fits. The term is used in disability often. I just viewed that Capitalism views disabled persons as surplus. I disagree. A useless person is surplus.

____________________________________________

"Phenomenal recovery"

I guess the same is happening here. This person found me. This is what's going on, except I have more knowledge and memory, and this is a completely different country.

____________________________________________

I am thinking that it is very possible for a person in PVS to slip into this rare disorder. That would explain the people in coma who are found to be aware. It is not known how far this goes. That is why there has been push for Brain-Computer Interface technology. For more on BCI, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brain–computer_interface

In the video, the woman describes her delusions. I thought my breathing treatments were poison. Not all treatments were bad. It was just one Respiratory Therapist in particular. I must have displayed distress as the doctor requested someone else. When that very same person came again, everyone was suspicious.

She mentions her children. Mine are my reason that I am alive. Now that they are adults, I can go on and do things like this. I've only become publicly vocal in the last few years after my youngest child's graduation from high school.

"This is a brain stem injury." Family were taught that when I was at the rehab facility. I had that will there, and I knew a lot of concepts. My BA is psychology, which is close. I lacked current medical terms and concepts. I now know about "neuroplasticity" and use the concept a lot.

She ends with "You don't know how happy I am to be unlocked." I still am in some ways. I guess oppressed is the better word.

oppress

[uh-pres]

---

verb (used with object)

to burden with cruel or unjust impositions or restraints; subject to a burdensome or harsh exercise of authority or power: a people oppressed by totalitarianism.

to lie heavily upon (the mind, a person, etc.): Care and sorrow oppressed them.

to weigh down, as sleep or weariness does.

Archaic . to put down; subdue or suppress.

Archaic . to press upon or against; crush.

https://www.dictionary.com/browse/oppressed

I'm still vegetative. Sure the government changed my diagnosis to "semi-vegetative" back in 2004, but I want to know which part of me is still vegetative. Is it when I am asleep? Vegetative is not conscious and I'm not conscious when I am sleeping.

Life-Saving Treatment

I was refused life-saving treatment by the government. I write this now so obviously I am still alive. I went through Stanford's free medical clinic as an indigent (penniless). They provided the necessary treatment, at a loss to the university.

Now the government just ignores me. What can they do? Admit they didn't do anything?

I am still Total Care. I do not walk. I do not eat. Nutrition comes from a feeding tube. I still have the vegetative diagnosis. These would all be grounds for letting a patient go.

I do something, though, that is very different. I talk. I speak and I write. I use one finger to write down my thoughts, as my speech isn't always understandable. My speech continues to improve, though. There was a time when I couldn't talk.

It was expected that I would die when I was sent home. I wouldn't have 24-hr nursing care. No one considered me. I remembered. Long ago I worked in a carehome. I just relayed important info to whomever does my care now.

As for other medical stuff, I'll just say that I know.

I was supposed to die. Neurological repair wouldn't be done on someone who was about to die. So I found someone who would take care of it. Stanford removed the AVM and cleaned up damage from my bleed. (The AVM, arteriovenous malformation, would kill me. It was a time-bomb ready to explode.)

Now what? I'm not dying anytime soon. Can I be conscious now?

I Swallow Enough for a Lollipop

"As a consequence of her brain injury, she was unable to swallow using conventional utensils, and like many Americans required nutrition and hydration by feeding tube in order to live."  https://www.lifenews.com/2019/03/29/14-years-after-they-starved-my-sister-to-death-we-must-never-forget-terri-schiavo/?fbclid=IwAR3J9S8A2Y14HpTt-XppmSMEGWlz1uXB4bFb45NpCA9FmwNTUsFv3ATjE2s

That statement could be me. I have a feeding tube. I quote Bobby Schindler. He's Talking about his sister, Terri Schiavo. She's no longer with us. Her feeding tube was taken. She was thought to have reached the end of progress.

The government cut off providing the formula for my feeding tube. So, through a medicare supplement insurance, I get my own formula and supplies. I pay for the supplement insurance and no one else does. I won't depend on the government for providing medical supplies. I don't trust them. They were going to let me die...all because I talk and don't swallow.

Now you find me with a lollipop in my mouth at most times.

 I get all kinds now.

I use lollipops to get my mouth used to having food in it again. It's been a very long time. It has been so long that some would say 'don't bother.' I say it's just lollipops. I'm not doing a whole feeding program.

Lollipops just aren't for kids anymore. Recently, a daughter gave me the following specialty lollipops,

Starting on the left, the first two are Pineapple Upside Down Cake. This is not standard fare. In the center is the jelly and the peanut butter of Peanut Butter and Jelly lollipop. This is a two-sided lollipop. Second in from the right is "The Bird is the Word" which is Fruit Loops, birthday cake, lemon curd and buttercream frosting. Finally, on the far right are two Canoli lollipops. Yes, there is now such a thing.

My next venture is a margarita lollipop. It's been so long since I had a margarita. 

Cince de Mayo - Classic Margarita Lollipops

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I once saw a speech therapist for a few visits. I was hoping to learn how to drink the formula in order to get rid of the feeding tube. The formula is now Ensure. So it tastes okay now. Swallowing my formula did not happen. I do not swallow enough.

The therapist thought I'd be able to do "pleasure eating."  I had never heard of the concept before, but I liked the sound of it. Now that I have lollipops I understand. Certain flavors give me pleasure.

I looked up the concept. Pleasure Eating has to do with Mindfulness thttps://www.bestfoodfacts.org/mind-your-meals/. I do know that heartburn has nearly stopped since adding lollipops. My digestive system may be working muscles I hadn't been using. I only notice one thing, though- I don't have barf in my mouth.