Monday, March 16, 2020

Blue Boost




The nurse added blue dye to the formula put into my feeding tube. My formula was Boost at the time.

"Why is the milk blue?" I  think she was training. "The body doesn't make anything blue. If the patient dies, then when autopsied, it can be seen where the formula went."

Aspiration of my formula was worried about. Although the feeding tube goes to my stomach, there is still reflux and I have that. Formula can easily come back up and go to my lungs.

That would kill me.
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My Boost didn't have any Bang, but it was as blue as that milk. Boost already looks like milk, so when this show added blue, all sorts of memories came. 
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I don't know if my eyes were even open yet. I heard this. I'm guessing that I was still in the ICU.

I had a bad stroke. Bleeding in my brain wasn't stopped until only brainstem was remaining. My heart beat, but I didn't breathe. There was a machine for breathing back then, a ventilator.

I breathe on my own now. The hospital that did the blue milk weaned me off the machine. I kept the machine tube in my neck for 2 years after being weaned off the machine, the ventilator. I now have a closed hole. It has been quite some time now, but you can still see where the hole was cut in my neck to put the ventilator tube in.

Why I recall this I do not know. I was talking to a caregiver last night about the colors of bodily fluids. This morning it was that show with the blue milk. It's like the universe is conspiring for me to remember. 

I don't know how or why I write. I don't know how or why I talk. Why not?


It's true, blue is used.  


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