Monday, June 30, 2014

Pay My Billls (revised)

A vegetative state is absence of responsiveness and awareness due to overwhelming dysfunction of the cerebral hemispheres, with sufficient sparing of the diencephalon and brain stem to preserve autonomic and motor reflexes and sleep-wake cycles. Patients may have complex reflexes, including eye movements, yawning, and involuntary movements to noxious stimuli, but show no awareness of self or environment. A minimally conscious state, unlike a vegetative state, is characterized by some evidence of awareness of self and/or the environment, and patients tend to improve. Diagnosis is clinical. Treatment is mainly supportive. Prognosis for patients with persistent deficits is typically bleak.

Well the situation is not too "bleak" if I'm writing this. I'm diagnosed "semi-vegetative" because that is what I was when I left the hospital. Obviously I'm not any vegetative any more. The problem with the above statement is a person can't recover from the first situation, persistent vegetative state. So you get what's happening to me. I'm still in a "coma" and I'm told so by e-mail. (Here's the e-mail, )

Is that punishment for being conscious? I've been through much worse.

I don't fit with this definition. Is the problem with me...or is there something wrong with the theory? It's the "neurological nihilism" and I explain this in The problem is with the whole theory. It ends negatively. That's all that is expected as an outcome, so that is all that is given. In this case it's not much. It becomes a viscous cycle. No recovery is expected, so no therapy is given. (It is good I could do some. Imagine how I'd be if I got full therapy.)

I'm not in a care situation. I don't operate on this notion of neurological nihilism. Problems with this concept have been noticed by others: 
"Far too often, patients ... are given up for gone, left to languish in nursing homes where no one bothers with physical therapy or even to check for glimmers of regained consciousness." Families who immediately take a loved one home, avoiding a care situation have noticed it. Unfortunately the medical facilities don't reside at home. Those still needing medical care soon expire. If medical care is remained in, the other part expires.

How did I happen? Mostly luck. (It was statistically bound to happen.) There are factors (and I do some therapy!), but what matters is that it did happen. What are you going to do now?

(Politicians, I do vote. I'm unconscious and I vote! I use the absentee ballot. I make my choices, but I have someone else fill out the form. I can't hand-write with one finger. What does this do to your constituency? One of your voters is unconscious.)

Saturday, June 21, 2014

Mesmerized By What My Eyes Have Seen

I knew every step of the way. I don't care what others said, I knew. I couldn't say anything. I had no voice. It's said vegetative people don't  know. Well, not this vegetative person. I knew. My body just didn't show it.
My first word was "No."    Any wonder why?
Family was told, "She doesn't know you," and "She doesn't know you are there."  Wrong. I knew. I knew who visited and who didn't. Not only did I know my name, where I was, what day it was, and who was president (all hospital questions.), but I could give a short history of most subjects and explain how most things work. Of course all of this was in my head. I had no way to get it out.

That's why I'm happy to have this finger and a computer. I can say and be understood.

Don't say,  "She doesn't remember." I do. I  remember everything. All I've seen...

______________________________ _______________


  The closest I could find to my situation that was on video was:

He just doesn't have the memory or awareness  of the rehabilitation. I do. I'd also venture to say it's not done yet with me. Obviously it's not done if there is continued substantial progress, rehab is not done. His rehab was a few years. It's already been quite a few with me recovering skills. I'm still listed as being in a coma. Isn't this proof enough I'm not?

All kinds of questions should be asked now.