Saturday, April 12, 2014

My Hole

I have a hole in my neck...but I can breathe now so I don't mind. How did I get a hole? I couldn't breathe. I lost consciousness and I guess at some point a hole was cut into my neck to hook me to a machine to breathe, a ventilator.

Breathing has been such a big deal, but it has been treated as secondary. What good is anything (medication, medical procedures, or therapy) if the person being treated doesn't breathe?

I put some pictures together that show it has been a very  long time. Completely breathing on my own has been a long process. That process didn't end with me getting off a ventilator, but many years later. My lungs were finally able to get continuously off a machine. The tube may be left in, and mine was, in case machine hook up is needed. When the lungs are strong enough, the tube is removed.

This is where my hole comes from. Although I was removed from the breathing machine, the ventilator, the tube was left in my neck for years. When the tube finally comes out, the hole left behind will naturally close on its own. Mine didn't. The skin over it had to be surgically closed. I've been left with an indentation that slowly gets smaller over the years. Breathing treatments (I was frequently getting these) soon ended after closing the hole. I used an inhaler (like for asthma) for a few months after. Breathing issues now can just be handled by my regular doctor.

The above was taken at a birthday party. I got out of the hospital for the day. The picture below is just an enlargement of me. After the party I returned to the hospital. I was placed back on the ventilator.  I was  not all the way weaned from it yet. This third picture is the same day and you can see my arms. Besides the IV bruises, I have hospital arm bands on. These pictures were 2003


This is in 2006 before I got out of the hospital. The hole in my neck was just closed. Prior to that it was open and I could breathe through it. The tube had been out a year, leaving an open hole. I used that open hole for breathing.

This was my profile pic at That was 2009. You can see the hole is closed and healed.


In 2013 you can see the hole has gotten smaller. At this rate, I will have a hole a while. Eventually it will become a scar.


Here's 4 years later. Obviously changes are happening.


1 comment:

  1. It is good that you no longer require a ventilator. Progress counts and is good.