Wednesday, March 24, 2021

Where's the Miracle?

 


I am not in a hospital, care home, or any other facility. If I was, I doubt that I'd be here. I was sent home to die back in 2006. I never did die, I'm actually healthier.

I was supposed to die from an AVM bursting in my head. (Like an aneurism) That's not possible anymore. The AVM is gone. Stanford removed it in 2004. There's nothing there to bleed.

As for providing for my immediate medical needs caused by an initial bleed... I knew what to do. In former employment I have been a care home shift supervisor, a (medical in nature) social worker, and an early intervention program manager. I was more than qualified.


Doctor's usually don't give surgery 
instruction during their own surgery.


That is what I am doing. I am not a doctor. I am a patient who says what to do next and my speech is hard to understand.



Giving instruction on how to care for a patient isn't new for me. I did this as a shift supervisor in a care-home. I had to train new staff and a care home is all about giving care.

Maybe if that last hospital that gave care that I was at had wrote down that I could say a word it wouldn't look so fantastic. Each step of my care can be said in 1-3 words. I could do that. After years of doing that, those words became sentences.

Nothing here looks fantastic. That's because I filled in missing information. Whenever something has been missing it is filled in with God or magic by other people.

Talking has been a big mystery. First off, this writing is not speaking. I think the first e-mail I sent was to a doctor in Belgium in 2006. It took a couple days to write the message and it was only a few sentences. This was after I got out of a hospital. This was the right person to write, though. I was coming out of Locked-In Syndrome and he has written on it extensively. As for speaking, my first words were never charted? I was still in a hospital at that point. I can't help lousy paperwork. My writing has never been documented by the government. I guess I don't speak, either.

Speaking of paperwork, what happened to all papers from Stanford? It's like they were completely erased. My AVM then just magically disappeared. That's a miracle!



The real miracle comes in the form of my memory. That should all be gone, right? Also, why did my higher education and employment history prepare me for this ordeal?



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