"Give Me The Beat Boys"

"Beginning to think that I'm wastin' time
I don't understand the things I do"

 

I could threaten to hold my breath until I die. You don't really, but it's scary. Whether or not I'm "wastin' time," I am getting things done.

 
It seems like a waste of time, trying to prove that I am truly conscious. Once PVS is always PVS. So I was once lacking consciousness, and therefor always will be without consciousness. This is why I can say I'm unconscious. (PVS is a disorder of consciousness, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Persistent_vegetative_state ). Fighting on this one feels like it's taking a long time, and I am tired of that one. There are other issues I can concentrate on.

  

"I don't understand the things I do" explains my actions. I have no clue why. There are no antecedents, as I was in a hospital bed. I woke up and just knew what had to be done. I'm just doing it. So if you ask yourself, "Why"? The answer usually is, "She felt like it." That's one thing that the brain injury is responsible for...feelings. I don't try to explain, "I felt like it." So I go to what needs to be done....

People needed to understand what is happening to them.... I do my best to explain (from my point of view which may not mesh with yours.)

People want a quick cure.... Don't say it's not possible. It's just not available at this time. (Long ago, I tied my recovery to a medicine, http://thoughtfulveg.blogspot.com/2011/10/it-did-more.html and http://thoughtfulveg.blogspot.com/2012/01/i-meant-to-do-that.html. This drug class, not the same drug, has been linked to neurogenesis in other types of cases. I'm waiting for investigation. My recovery hasn't been quick, but it was at least accomplished in a lifetime.) 

People with brain injuries want to know what to do... I wrote http://braininjuryknow.blogspot.com/2010/12/rehab-at-home.html  (I didn't mean to, but I think this solves the backlog in rehab. It gives every single person on a waiting list an out-patient program to do while waiting.)

Just because I don't know why I do what I do doesn't mean that something  mystical is happening. It means I don't know why. I don't know everything.

For now, I'll just keep doing what I'm doing and Don't Ask Me why.

I do know one thing...I am experiencing this firsthand. My background and knowledge give this even more meaning. I am able to dissect it and then put it back together in a way others can get meaning and learn from it. That isn't a miracle. That's my own hard work.