This is Dumb and Stupid

My diagnosis is "semi-vegetative". That's only part vegetative. 

So dear govt, which part of me is still in a coma? Is it my top half or my bottom? 

Am I in a coma when I am sleeping?

This is "Dumb and Dumber". The video clip is the movie. My situation just is.

Oops, I don't swallow barium (for an x-ray). That doesn't mean that I am in a coma (vegetative). Other medical conditions don't swallow. I'm singled out.

Why? What's your problem? Are you dumb, or just stupid?