You Missed It

The real miracle happened years ago. What is amazing now is just my natural brain growth. I'm used to the dropped jaw and wide eyes. I was a top-scoring poindexter, but I had friends. I was like other kids, but very smart. When high school came along, I dropped out...but started college. (I passed a test.) I wasn't really the typical kid. I looked like one, but I was extremely smart.

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If I had been properly diagnosed in the first place, I wouldn't now be explaining this to you. I don't see fault with the person who gave me the diagnosis. Rather it's the system. If consciousness was put on a sliding scale this error never would have happened. (I would have been 0 at that time. Now I would be 10. You missed 1-9.) I would have slid from 0-10, much like turning up the volume on your stereo. My consciousness now screams at you. I was diagnosed before it was a whisper.

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I go on...there was a miracle. My AVM (arteriovenus malformation) is gone and I am alive. I used to joke that my AVM was in a jar at Stanford. A biologist pointed out that it can't be because it is not tissue. An AVM is mostly all blood. It is a tangle of blood vessels with no capillaries. The pressure can cause a blood vessel to swell. I had a blood balloon in my head that leaked and got me in this predicament.

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When it "leaked", most people would have died. It wasn't a small leak. It was a full-on, major brain bleed for me. The AVM only got smaller and retained all its properties. Bleeding was stopped and it was left there. It could still do its job.

A surgeon at Stanford University Hospital thought he could do differently.

This gives you an idea. This following video is after my surgery. My initial procedures were also one day. The woman in this video had her  procedure done in one day. The initial embolizations I received were done as out-patient procedures.

I would have a few of these procedures to shrink my AVM to a manageable size. The AVM could then be surgically removed in a typical craniotomy. So that is what I did.

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It came with risks. I had to sign my life away. For all I know, the machine in that video was tested on me. I doubt it, though. Like I said, my case was a predecessor. It happened BEFORE. "Cyberknife" did not exist, yet. The video states this is the latest model of that video's time. Mine would have been more crude, but sci-fi none the less.

The government wanted nothing to do with this procedure. I had to be seen through the clinic as an indigent in need. When I went to Stanford for the final craniotomy I was a resident at one facility, and when I woke I was a resident at another facility. Medicaid actually transferred me during a procedure.

The surgery has been successful. I am still alive. This is the miracle.

So, ask the government to explain why I am alive. They are not responsible and should take no credit for that. Ask them what happened to my AVM. I'll say it's at Stanford.

What you see happening now is  my normal brain growth. That has stunned people before. I got used to that way back as a child. You need to get used to that, also.